Building on Brotherly Love

Brigham is 21-months-old. It is very hard for me to grasp that Landon was this same age when Brigham was born.

You see, Brigham can communicate. He can say a lot of words at this point. But we can’t have conversations with him. We can’t make him understand how things work. He has to figure that all out on his own in the coming years.

So when I look at Brigham and think that Landon was this age when he became a big brother? Well, it just astounds me that Landon handled it as well as he did. He was so young. Looking at Brigham at 21-months solidifies that fact. He just seems so little to me.

I never really talked about how Landon reacted to his new baby brother when he first saw him. The truth is, it wasn’t that heart-explosion experience that I had pictured during my entire pregnancy.

No, my parents brought Landon to the hospital the morning after Brigham was born. We were so excited for him to meet his brother for the first time. But when he came into the room he freaked out. He got really quiet and seemed very confused as to why I was in a big high bed, unreachable to him.

We lifted him up so that he could see Brigham in the isolette. Hopefully this will give you a tiny glimpse into how that went over. He approached with such trepidation.

So we tried to approach it another way, which didn’t work either.

Then, as if it couldn’t get any worse, he went and hid behind the bedside table to get away from everyone. My heart sank and I tried not to cry.


When I look back I think his reaction makes perfect sense. He was frightened. Here he is in this new place with new smells and his mom in a hospital bed and we’re putting him face-to-face with a baby he has never seen before. Poor guy. He was completely overwhelmed.

I’m not sure how we could have handled it any better. Maybe not brought him to the hospital and waited for him to meet Brigham at home? Knowing Landon a little more now, he tends to be very timid in new situations and is leery of new people. Brigham was probably no exception. It takes him a little while to warm up and decide if he’s going to like someone.

The next day, my parents brought him back and he did much better than the day before.

I guess I’m telling this story because I think it might help someone. I want to be transparent on my blog. The siblings meeting for the first time isn’t always picture-perfect, especially if your oldest is still fairly young and can’t understand what’s happening. Their little world as they know it gets turned upside down and they have to re-learn how to live with this new baby invading their only child status.

But after the newness wore off, the sweet brotherly love was uncovered.

Just look at this blast from the past . . . when Landon was 21-months-old. It is my favorite video I’ve ever taken.

Brigham is 21-months-old. The same age as Landon when they met for the first time.

And now, they’re rolling around together, wrestling each other, jumping on beds, and stealing each other’s trucks. Sometimes Landon gets super annoyed with Brigham. And sometimes they are best friends, building blocks together while building brotherly love.

I guess it’s just as it should be.

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Comments

  1. says

    Love!

    I’m still waiting for Jaxon to realize Cohen is a playmate and not a baby anymore. Cohen wants to play with him so bad and Jaxon isn’t to the point of enjoying it yet, he still thinks he’s out to destroy or take away whatever Jax has… which, sometimes IS the case, haha!

    I can’t wait till they play side by side together.
    Megan recently posted..Haha.

  2. says

    This is so true but no one ever really talks about it. My 31 month old wanted absolutely nothing to do with me or his sister in the hospital and to be completely honest it wasn’t much better at home. This little thing had taken his mama from him and he was not a happy camper. Like Landon, Cameron tends to be timid and shy in new situations and around people he does not know so it makes perfect sense especially when you throw in that my time was now divided. Haley is now 10 months and Cameron has realized that she can be a playmate and is here to stay so it has become fun to watch them interact but it took a few weeks before he wanted anything to do with her at all and a few months before he warmed up to her.

  3. says

    I love that video, Molly. So sweet. Thank you for this post . It’s easy to get that moment built up in your mind but I will definitely not expect too much out of Truman in a few more months. Talk about some life changes for those first borns!
    julia recently posted..25 weeks: a rutabaga?

  4. says

    We’ll be dealing with the very same thing in a few days/weeks. Our daughter is a big older though so maybe she’ll handle it better. When she was 2 she freaked if I picked up anyone other than her, now she’s ok when I hold a friend’s baby :-)
    **fingers crossed**

  5. says

    21 months really is so tiny! You area a hero mama with two little boys. They’re practically twins! I don’t know about you but the second time around they seem much younger to me. Gracie is still a baby to me, but I remember thinking Levi was growing up at this age. ;)
    anna recently posted..christmas…for crying out loud

  6. says

    That video is darling!

    I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately- my youngest is now the age my oldest was when my youngest was born. He seems like SUCH a baby still- and yet, my oldest had TWO younger siblings at this age.
    Shell recently posted..Why I’m a Pirate Mom

  7. says

    We had a similar experience when my son met his sister in the hospital. I was totally against him coming in to the hospital, but my husband and family thought it was best for him to come in as soon as possible. I was right. He was really upset about being there, about seeing me in bed, and about the baby. I wish I had waited until I got home.

    He was speaking very well, and understood pretty well what was happening. We prepped him for weeks before so he knew that there was a baby in my belly that was going to come out and live with us. He said he was very excited for her to come home.

    I have photos on my blog that are similar to Molly’s. He was scared and I knew it and it crushed me. I was on pain meds and I saw in videos that I was really weird toward him and he felt it. :-/ I’m sure different personalities in children would respond differently, but our experience was very similar.

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