Sometimes the internet can be ugly

Last week, when I posted my first vlog, I received this anonymous comment:


When I first saw it, I was shocked. I quickly logged into my account and sent it to the trash. I’d like to say that I brushed it off and it didn’t affect me. But I promptly left work, drove to chick-fil-a and inhaled their waffle fries to make me feel better. So I *may* have been a little upset even though I didn’t know who this person was. That’s the world wide web for you. Sometimes the internet itself can be ugly.

I’ve had some time to think about the word ugly. It prompted me to search my blog for photos of me. To find out what exactly it was about me that might be ugly. What did they see that I don’t. But I noticed, there are very few photos of me. I constantly read other blogs with women proudly showing off their beautiful faces.

Some are wearing glasses. Some are sporting a messy bun. Some are tall and some are short.  Some are smiling and some are staring off into space. Some are a reflection in the mirror. Some are round with a growing life inside of them. And some are round because that’s who they are and they aren’t ashamed of showing it off. I love these women. The ones dripping in bravery. The ones embracing their differences and loving themselves.

It took the word ugly being thrown my way for me to realize that I’m not exactly owning what I look like or who I am.

Well,  this is who I am.

I’m Molly
I’m 5′ 4″
I wear glasses most the time
I have light blonde, naturally wavy hair that is often frizzy
I have a mushy tummy because I ate too many donuts while housing two beautiful miracles in my womb
My nose has a bump on it, a trademark of my German heritage
My eyebrows are often overgrown
My fingernails are jagged from my bad nail-biting habit
I have moles on my skin because the sun is not my friend
I like fast food a little too much
My eyes are small and blue like the Greek sea and I am proud to share this exact color with my son Landon
I have wrinkles on my forehead from thinking too much
I am emotional and reactionary and I over-analyze everything.

I don’t think of the word ugly as an adjective anymore. I think ugly is a verb. Something people do. Being mean to someone is an ugly thing to do. Calling people names is being ugly. And doing it on the internet, never owning up to who you are? Well, that’s uglier than all the rest.

I’m Molly. I am not a ten.

But I know I’m not a zero either.

I am somebody. Somebody who is beautiful, inside and out. It’s time I start believing it again and showing off the beauty for everyone to see.

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Comments

  1. says

    Molly, you are beautiful inside and out. And I’d say you’re an 11 for posting this. Anonymous is a negative 37573759372759020 and a coward. I’m with you… ugly is a verb. And there are a lot of ugly people out there. Sad for them.
    Jana A recently posted..SOC Sunday: Saying Goodbye

  2. says

    I think this will be the best post that I’ll read all week.
    What an odd and horrible thing for someone to write.
    And you did a wonderful job of responding to it with this post.
    Your Friend, m.
    Mark recently posted..Soon

  3. Mrs. Edberg says

    How rude! I can’t believe someone would post that comment, so uncalled for! You are BEAUTIFUL! And don’t let anyone stinkin tell you otherwise.

  4. says

    I’m still shocked that someone would go through the trouble to tear someone down like that. I am so proud of you for keeping your head high and seeing the truth, that ugly is an emotion, not a look.

    <3
    Megan recently posted..Birthday recap.

  5. says

    Amen to this: “I am somebody. Somebody who is beautiful, inside and out. It’s time I start believing it again and showing off the beauty for everyone to see.” It’s so difficult to believe it ourselves, and gets that much more so when anonymous nobodies tell us otherwise. Thanks for standing up for what we all need to believe in.
    Sarah recently posted..practice to habit: day three & day four

  6. says

    As someone who has recently experienced the mean-anonymous comment thing, I have to say that one of the weirdest parts of it to me has been how long one mean comment sticks with you, and how quickly I forget the 10 positive ones. It’s so weird, and a constant battle in my head.

    Anyway, just wanted to say that I understand, and I’m sorry. You’re right–that anonymous person is the ugly one, not because of their appearance, but because of their heart.
    Meredith @ La Buena Vida recently posted..Real

    • says

      I’m sorry you’re dealing with this crap too. I don’t understand what would possess anyone to write such a mean-spirited comment. And you’re right, when we get the bad ones they overshadow the good ones.

      But not today! Look at all the good that has come out of that awful little word. Tons of support from bloggers everywhere :)

  7. says

    ::horror face::

    Molly, you are beautiful inside & out & I know that for a fact since I’ve seen you in person.

    Also, you write beautiful words, not hate-filled words & that makes everything around you more beautiful.

    I understand, though. There’s a running joke around the interwebs that I look homeless 90% of the time & when I first saw it, it stung. BADLY. I know I’m not a fashion blogger & that I’m pudgy & I try to hide it with baggy clothes, but ouch! I want to say that me spinning it & using the phrase in my own writing has eased the sting, but not really. It’s just one of those things that happens & we do our best to push past it.

    See you in just a matter of weeks & I can’t wait to squeeze the snot out of you.
    Beth Anne recently posted..We keep getting kicked out of the house & I’m so thankful for it.

    • says

      Ugh, BA. I’m so sorry people feel the need to beat down on someone they don’t even know. I think you’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met. And I’m not just talking about on the outside (which you totally are). I’m talking about your honest and caring heart.

      I’m not going to lie. It was a hard day and I searched for the ugliness in the mirror that night. But really, I never found it. I can’t bring myself to believe that I’m ugly. I know I’m not regardless of what other people think.

      I can’t wait to see you too. I’m feeling nervous but hopeful that I can be myself this time.

  8. says

    That person was just plain rude, and scared of what they were writing or they wouldn’t have left it anonymous. You are beautiful, and you are who you are!! God made each of us different, and some people have figured out that beauty is also on the inside!
    Tiffani recently posted..Random Thoughts

  9. says

    It took me two months to actually post a picture of myself on my blog once I got it going. It’s nerve-wracking being so public and “out there” but your attitude is inspiring. I will remember your words the next time I think about taking down my pic!
    Molly recently posted..Today’s waffle: fresh flowers

  10. says

    I love when anonymous people hide behind the keyboard when posting a comment. It’s one thing if you are posting something positive, or saying thank you – doing something good for someone perhaps without wanting to be found out – but this just screams insecurity if the person had to post it anonymously. Obviously afraid of the backlash they’d get from others. What happened to “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?”

    Chin up BEAUTIFUL!
    Suze recently posted..Snow Day with Elmer Fudd…I Mean Tommy!

  11. Sara T. says

    That is just awful. I would have fallen into a heap and sobbed for the rest of day. Because I am also “emotional and reactionary and I over-analyze everything”. ;)

    You are strong and beautiful. I love that you turned a comment from a random douche into something insightful and positive.

  12. AM says

    Cannot believe someone could write something so mean, but then again guess it’s not all that surprising as our society seems to be composed of lurking bullies as well. And in my opinion anyone who leaves an anonymous, negative comment is not only a bully but someone very unhappy with themselves and their own life. It’s sad how carelessly some throw around words never realizing the depth of hurt they can inflict on others and even themselves. But you turned around something rather negative, wrote such a great positive post today, and that’s what matters the most. Think you have inspired a lot of people. You are a beautiful person both inside and out, not to mention you write a lovely blog!

  13. Mandy@ a sorta fairytale says

    There has been so much of this going on lately. Some people are so full of hate, and it’s usually because they hate themselves. I completely agree with you, it’s time to start putting yourself out there, it will only help your self confidence and those ugly commenters will have less of an affect on you. I’m so sorry youths to deal with this!! You are wonderful and I just love your blog!!
    Mandy@ a sorta fairytale recently posted..Oreck Magnesium Vacuum Review & Giveaway!

  14. says

    First of all, on the outside you are just lovely. So ugh on anyone who would say otherwise.

    Second of all, I am so sorry someone said that to you, not because of your outside but because of your insides. I can’t wait to meet you, not because of what you look like, but because you are so very beautiful and honest with your words.

    Rock on Molly. xo

  15. says

    Ugly is most definitely a verb. I’m sorry someone was so juvenile as to post this. Not only to post something so cruel, but to post it anonymously. What a coward. You are BEAUTIFUL inside and out and we love you. Hold you head up because you rock!
    Courtney Kirkland recently posted..Fog

  16. says

    OK. I haven’t met you but I think you’re beautiful inside and out. And this post makes me all kind of angry, and happy all at once. You did a great job with a rude, unacceptable, comment. YOU ROCK. And happen to be pretty, too.
    Kim recently posted..Boys Will Be Boys. Right??

  17. Erica says

    Hi Molly,
    I’ve been reading your blog for a while now but have never commented before, I wanted to leave a comment after your vlog to tell you how great it was but my little ones were calling me and I ran out of time. I’ve just read this post and I am so shocked someone would leave you such a rude and insensitive comment I had to leave you a happy and positive comment. You are so inspiring and I love reading your posts and have so much admiration for you, you are a fantastic Mum to your boys. I thought your vlog was great and you are lovely. Take care Erica

  18. says

    You blog is about you…not some person who doesn’t like themselves enough to try to hurt you.

    I have a lot of negative experiences like this. All I can say is, you are a joy to read and a person of courage to post a vlog. I admire you for that. You’re PRETTY awesome for having this site. That’s PRETTY cool.
    Lance recently posted..See A Little Light

  19. says

    I’m sorry to hear you received such a nasty comment recently. I had one not too long ago also that really stung something fierce… but you know, you can’t help what mean people think/say. What you can control is how you react to them. And this post shows that you are a strong woman (could also be your German heritage… I’m part German, too!) and that you’re not willing to let one bad apple spoil the bunch. Good for you.

    This “anonymous” person sounds like a sad sap if you ask me.
    Charlotte recently posted..tides of my life and the rest of it all

  20. says

    Dammit. You put tears in my eyes. I hate that mean people exist in the world merely to be mean. I love how you took that experience to redefine how you feel about yourself. I, too, would be drowning my sorrows in french fries. Except mine would come from McDonald’s.

    For the record, I think you’re beautiful.
    Fadra recently posted..Just 5 Things… My Favorite Cookbooks

  21. says

    oh my goodness. i really can’t believe the audacity of some people! and yes! ugly IS a verb for sure. and what anonymous did is certainly ugly. we use that word at home for our two year old too. we don’t tell him he was mean, we told him what he’s doing is ugly…

    but i digress. this post is awesome. so truthful. so honest. SO. REAL. and i love that. that you so much for sharing.
    becca @ just one more trip recently posted..listening? now that might be a problem!

  22. says

    Oh, goosebumps over here. And in my book? You’re absolutely a 10. Know why? I’ve always been more of a ‘get to know ya’ person. That whole ‘don’t judge a book by a cover’ thing. I think some of the most beautiful featured people are ugly, because of the way the act.

    You are Molly. And you are incredible.
    MommaKiss recently posted..It’s true

    • says

      Awwww, you made me tear up! Thank you so much for these lovely words of yours. It really made my day to know that there are people out there that support me!

  23. Leslie G says

    Hi Molly! I’m late to the game, but wow. Anonymous, negative posters hold NO power. None. It takes no thought and no heart to hop on a blog anonymously and blurt crap like that.
    You are beautiful- I have always thought that and I consider you a good blog friend. :)
    PS- I also have a bump on my nose, though I don’t have German heritage! I got it from my grandpa who’s Swedish. :)

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