Sometimes I worry that life will always leave me wanting.
When I got engaged, I threw myself into all things wedding-related.
When I got married, I threw myself into all things home buying.
When we bought a home, I threw myself into planning our 1-year anniversary trip.
When we started trying to conceive, I threw myself into all things baby-related.
When I got pregnant, I threw myself into nursery planning.
And so on and so forth.
But now things have finally settled down.
We’re not looking for a house or planning a trip or expecting a baby.
We’ve been married five years. We had two babies and are now raising two happy, growing sons. We sold and bought a new house where we will hopefully stay for a very long time. We’re not planning a trip any time soon.
I’m antsy. I’m twiddling my thumbs. I’m trying to figure out what to do with this seemingly settled life.
I just want to be happy for what I have.
Does anyone know the path to find peace? Does anyone know where the planning ends and the acceptance that this is my life begins?
I know things can change in an instant, good or bad. So I’m trying to be grateful for the calm during the storm of life.
But I feel stuck. What is next for us? What is next for me?
Please tell me that I’m not the only one who feels like this.