On Tuesdays and Thursdays I take the boys to daycare. Naaman is already at work so it is my responsiblity to get them from home to “school” on time.
I have always said, I hate daycare days because they stress me out more than a day when Naaman is home with the boys or their grandparents are coming to watch them. In those cases, I am able to get up and get ready on my own.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the boys slept in a little bit so I could get ready while they are still asleep. But it doesn’t work that way. Landon and Brigham usually wake up at 6:30 a.m., the same time my alarm goes off, so I have to shower and get ready with them afoot.
I usually turn on a cartoon and they watch from the comfort of our bed while I finish getting ready. But sometimes it won’t keep their attention so they run into the bathroom and begin to destroy the entire room. A hairspray bottle is retrieved and thrown about. The shower door is opened and Brigham climbs in to splash in the leftover water. Clothes are pulled off the hangers in the closet. I have to watch that little hands aren’t burned by my curling iron. See? It’s stressful to have them in there while I try to put on mascara.
All the while, my blood pressure is rising. I am worried that when it comes time to get the boys dressed and brush their teeth – all hell will break loose with an unexpected tantrum. This has happened many times before with Landon. He sometimes just breaks down in the morning. He will fall to the floor bawling, arms flailing and legs kicking. I stand there in a state of utter shock because I have no idea what constituted a full-on tantrum at 7:00 a.m. And the truth is, I don’t think he knows either. Three-years-old? Holy crap, it’s hard.
I will try to pull him up, ask him what’s wrong a million times, but an answer never comes. All I know is it ends up being a 20 minute struggle to get clothes on him and I give up on brushing his teeth because he is so upset that I can’t even get him to stand up. Yes, I have to carry my three-year-old down the stairs and then come back up and get Brigham because by this time, Landon’s tantrum has upset little brother and he’s crying too.
It doesn’t always happen like this. Some mornings are easy breezy. Both my boys are all smiles and listen to their mama and cooperate. But that’s the stressful part. I never know how daycare day is going to go. It’s a toss up.
So I don’t like Tuesday and Thursday very much. But I’ve recently realized that it might be my fault. You see, when I wake up I’m already in work mode. I forget that my number one priority is being a mom to my two sons. Only when I’ve dropped them off at school should I be worrying about getting to work on time. Only then should I be allowed to stress out.
But when I’m home I need to pay more attention to my precious ones in the morning. I seriously can’t remember if I even kissed my kids when they woke up. Did I say “good morning, sunshine!” Did I say “I love you!”
I feel like my behavior is directly related to my boys’ behavior in the morning. They can sense that I am rushed. They can sense that I am stressed. And unfortunately, up until this realization, they can probably sense that they were an inconvenience in my quest to get to work on time. Believe me, it makes me sick just typing that.
So I’m going to make some changes. Although I love my sleep and have a love affair with the snooze button, I am going to start getting up at 6:00 a.m. Hopefully I can finish getting ready before they are up for the day. And then? Then it’s lovey dovey time. They will get tons of smooches when I first lay eyes on them. They will get the morning song that I used to sing in preschool.
Good morning to you!
Good morning to you!
We’re all in our places
with sunshiney faces!
And this is the way
We start a new day!
I will open the curtains and let the light in. I will make sure they see me smiling.
It’s so important. The MOST important job of my day starts before I ever leave my house. It’s to make sure that they know they’re loved. That they are my first priority. Not an inconvenience. This needs to happen before everything else on my to-do list.
I may have to work but there is no excuse for not giving my boys the mama they deserve.
Mornings are hard! It’s always amazing how much added time there is on getting two kids ready and out the door.
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You are such a good mom. I really struggle with losing my patience in stressful situations, like the one you described when you get up at the same time as them. I get so frazzled!! This is a good reminder that whatever situations in my life trigger that, I need to find a different solution.
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Twitter: momgosomething
says:
The day starts even before I leave the house…so so so true.
You are a good Mom Molly. I freak the heck out when i’m getting ready to go anywhere…which in turn freaks him out. I think that this is a good tool to help me slow down.
Kimberly recently posted..Reconditioning
This post hits home because I just realized this about myself. Sometimes I’m so focused on getting done what I need to in the morning that I forget Bella is waiting to see my face when I open the door.
I read something recently that asked how your child viewed your expression towards them when they wanted you to play or saw you after a nap. That rang in my head – I’d hate to be home with someone who was irritated or cranky at me being small.
Your post is a great reminder for that!
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Is there anyway for you to sleep into a office bathroom or do makeup in the parking lot? Sometimes it bugs people when I try to relate dog parenting to kid parenting, but I’ve found if I walk the dog in some state of half readiness an finish getting ready after she’s settled, it relieves some tension and there’s still time enough to get everything done without yelling at her up and down the block
I dread the morning routine as well. Tommy can be great like he was today, or fight the diaper change and getting dressed. I am almost always late, since I have an hour drive to work AFTER daycare dropoff. Today he decided to jump off the couch and while he’s usually pretty solid with his landings, today he was not and bumped his head, and he only wanted his Mommy. So we were 15 minutes later today than usual. But he is my priority, and I caught myself before I started thinking about the fact that I was going to be late, hit more traffic because of the time, etc.
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Thanks for the reminder and I will need to try this myself. E is in a home daycare and usually gets dressed there, so I let her sleep until the last possible minute. But by then I’m in a rush and I’ve been trying to wake her up a few minutes before so we can snuggle before I’m in rush mode. I think has helped both of us with the morning routine, but I know I can do better.
You know, half the battle is just realizing it I think.
You are a great Mom!
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I get up at 6 on the days I take Sammie to daycare for this exact reason. Her “tick-tock” (AKA toddler alarm clock) turns green at 6:40. Getting up at 6 means I can get ready in peace and have a few minutes to catch up on twitter/FB/emails before she’s up.
Another thing I do to help is to set out everything the night before. My clothes, her clothes (in the bathroom so we strip out of pj’s before going pee), her food for breakfast, our bags are on the table just ready to go, and anything extra (diapers) is already in the car.
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You are just the sweetest mama! We all have those days, but some of us don’t think to make the change like you. I struggled each and every day with this last year, but it took me losing my job to realize the effect on my boys. Girl, you’re doing great!
My mom used to sing that song to us, and now I try to remember to sing it to my boys, too! It’s so tough, though, when we’re juggling multiple roles, to stay focused on them. I try to get up before they do, but my kids can be early risers, too, so I face the same struggle on their school/daycare days, and our 3-year-old has the same unpredictability as Landon. I hope we can both manage to get up a bit earlier!
Jessica@Team Rasler recently posted..Trading my crown for a cape
Twitter: BipolarMomLife
says:
I remember those days from when I was working. Hugs to you Molly for recognizing that you want it to be different. You are a really good mom and as hard as it will probably be to get up at 6 am, I am sure that it will make such a difference for you and the boys. I am proud of you, mama.
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Twitter: KimberlyAMuro
says:
I need to learn to be more patient and show some friendliness in the mornings. I have an affair with the snooze button, then I freak out at everything as I get ready because we’re running late. I need to calm down and stop that.
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Oh, Molly, I totally feel where you’re at. My hubby usually takes our kids to daycare in the mornings (the center is by his office). When I have to, I am beyond stressed about it. I’m so thankful he does it every day. The women at the daycare are always shocked to see me. They all know Jeff and like him, and I am a complete stranger. But I don’t care. The days I have to load everyone up, and then unload everyone and say good bye and juggle the car seat and bottle bag–whew! It’s hard work!
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SUCH a good reminder, molly. i only work out of the house one day a week & i always have to get parker up & packed & out the door to the sitter’s. it IS stressful & i dread that one day all week. this is a great reminder that i need to be in mom-mode, not work mode… so SO true!
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Hi Molly,
I learn a lot from you girl. How we treat your kids in the morning sets their mood for the whole day so we need to be patient when the days starts
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