1. Thank you for all the kind words and well wishes on my new job. My first day went well and I am very hopeful that it will be the place where I belong.
2. Even though we’re on a budget, I decided to break it and FINALLY buy myself some new clothes. I have been searching for what feels like forever for the perfect skinny jeans. I just never thought that they looked good on me. For some reason, the skin-tightness of them made me self-conscious. But I was determined yesterday and finally found a pair at New York & Company. I can’t wait to wear them with everything I own.
3. Speaking of clothes, I had a lightbulb moment on Easter morning. I bought a new dress with tons of color in it. When I pulled it out to wear it I thought, I can’t wear this. It’s too colorful! I stopped myself in the middle of that thought. I have become scared of color in my wardrobe! Why, you may ask? Because I’m scared that it will draw attention to me! OMG. What has become of me? I used to dress in order to get attention. Now I purposely dress in black and gray so people won’t look at me. The thought saddened me and I know this has got to change. I used to love bright colors. Color is going to make a comeback no matter how uncomfortable it makes me!
3. I am planning a small second birthday party for Brigham. It will just be family but I am excited because both my sisters will be in from out of town and all the kiddos will be here. I hope to get a nice photo of all five together! I decided to do a Clifford the Big Red Dog theme because Brigham loves his Clifford doll and sleeps with it every night.
4. I think I’ve figured out why I sometimes can be so unproductive on the homefront. All this time I thought it was because I am just a lazy person. But actually, I think it’s the reverse. I think I put such high standards on myself that if I can’t do it perfectly then I just won’t do it at all. For instance, I know I need to clean the boys’ bathtub. But the way I want to clean it will take at least an hour. Well, who the heck has a free hour to clean a bathtub? I know I don’t! So I decide to wait until I can do it perfectly, which is NEVER. And so the bathtub sits uncleaned for who knows how long.
I’ve got to lose this way of thinking if anything is ever going to get done. But I don’t know how to stop wanting everything to be perfect. And because things can’t be done “just so” they aren’t done at all. Does anyone know how the heck to stop this perfection madness?
5. I have been putting a lot of heartfelt thought into what I wrote about last week. The one thing that is providing me a lot of peace and comfort is my growing relationship with God. I recently purchased the One Year Bible and I am excited to read and learn and engross myself in His word. It has been ages since I owned a Bible. I am ready. I am so glad I am on this journey.
6. Speaking of books, I purchased a bunch of others with some rewards I earned at my last job. I have long awaited reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. Tears were streaming within the first few pages. I think it will change me. I was already keeping a gratitude journal but this has reinforced the importance of that task. Thank you to all who recommended it!