Sometimes I feel like a circus act. A one man show. I’m out there in the spotlight constantly. All eyes on me. Waiting for me to fail. Waiting to judge me for dropping the balls that I’m juggling.
Sometimes it’s too much. Working, daycare drop-offs and pick-ups, dinner, baths, brushing teeth, bedtime stories and songs and in the morning . . . it starts all over again.
I know this is life. I have to accept it. These years are fleeting and I try to enjoy the time I do have with my boys.
But my mind is so muddled with what I can’t get done or what I didn’t get done. And all the responsibilities pile up and I shut down. My brain literally shuts down. Which is no good for anyone.
Sometimes I feel like I really cannot continue to do it all. Lately I’m feeling like it shows. Like people can tell I’m not happy or that I’m carrying a heavy burden.
I just want to be excited about life again. I want good things to look forward to and knowing that I can accomplish everything I’ve set out to do.
First and foremost is being a mom to my boys. These boys who have stolen my heart (and sometimes my head).
I can’t let my sadness or worries get in the way of my love for them. This job of being a mom can be difficult. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
If my life is a circus act then I have to keep juggling. Even when the only applause comes from two sweet boys who really do love their mama.
linking up with Shell for Pour Your Heart Out.
