37 Weeks Pregnant – Full Term Baby!

The bump:

Ta dah! I did it! I made it to full term. Now picture me doing a little tap dance for your viewing enjoyment! I can’t believe I’m here. In a good place. Ready to welcome our new little boy into this world any day. As you all know it wasn’t easy getting here. Physically, this pregnancy deserves a golden award of some sort. Emotionally, it has been a bit more difficult.

This is a quote from a blog post I wrote on January 2, 2010 . . .

It’s a New Year.  2010.  There is so much to look forward to this year.  A new little miracle will enter my life and I want so much to be ready to welcome him into the arms of a happy, more centered mama.  I want to feel the unspeakable joy that I felt the day we brought Landon home.  I don’t think I’ve ever smiled a bigger smile in my life than on the day when we came home and put him in his crib for the first time.  I want that with B and I’m trying to remain hopeful that I’ll get that chance.

Guess what . . . I am definitely going to get that chance!!! If anyone had told me that I would be in this good of shape physically or emotionally when 2009 changed over to 2010, I would have laughed in their face. And then probably bawled because that’s how emotionally vulnerable I was at the time. Who knew that staying in therapy during my pregnancy and taking a tiny green pill was the answer? I never would have believed it. But I’m so glad I hung in there and did the work! I feel good. I feel great. I feel wonderful {That’s a What About Bob quote, there, for anyone who doesn’t recognize it}.

I am eagerly awaiting meeting our son. I cry at the thought of that first moment. Happy tears, of course, instead of tears of worry, fear and anxiety. Yuck. I hated those feelings.

Packing the hospital bag was fun! That’s right, I said it. It was pure joy. I was packing B some clothing yesterday, which included some preemie onesies that Landon had to wear because he lost so much weight in the beginning. I was smiling and giggling to myself. I want to see those tiny feet and skinny long legs. I want to see those gummy newborn yawns and strange facial expressions while he sleeps.

I honestly feel like God has given me another precious gift in a time that is so uncertain for our family. Will we live in this house? Will I find a job? What does our future hold? But I know those questions don’t really matter at all. What is certain is that this baby will be loved. Oh, how he will be loved. By me, by his daddy, by his brother. Love is all that matters.

And for anyone wondering, my appointment was yesterday. She didn’t do an internal and I’m quite alright with that. I know I was 1.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced a couple of weeks ago. Who knows what I am now but she said she definitely wants to check me next week. Baby’s heart rate was great, my blood pressure is normal and I have minimal contractions and/or swelling. So I guess we’ll all just have to stay tuned . . .  baby B is running this show!

Filed Under: Baby Belly #2, Depression, Pregnancy #24 Comments

36 Weeks Pregnant

The bump @36 weeks, 1 day:

IMG_3495

IMG_3499

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy . . . we’re getting close people! And I’m getting excited. Excited to welcome our baby boy into this world and into our family. Excited to see what he will look like and act like. Excited for Naaman to meet his second son and for Landon to meet his little brother. It’s an exciting time here in our household.

I am still having contractions, some more painful at times, but it’s nothing that could be considered regular or time-able. And truthfully, I usually don’t have time to stop what I’m doing in order to let it pass. I’m much too busy chasing after our energetic toddler. Seriously, unless he is sleeping he does.not.stop.moving! Another thing that I am excited about for the new baby. Lots of chest to chest cuddles without him squirming out of my arms ; ) Oh, how I miss those newborn baby snuggles.

My back is crazy painful but I kind of expected that. I meant to post this update earlier today but we had an unexpected showing for the house and let me tell you . . . cleaning is just so difficult these days. You know it’s going to be a long day when your back is killing you by 10 a.m.! But it’s all worth it and I just keep telling myself . . .  not much longer, Molly, and look at the miracle you get at the end.

Naaman and I visited the new hospital where I will deliver this time. I think it’s safe to say that we will have an awesome experience here. I feel like we’re in very good hands. I talked to the maternity care coordinator concerning some things that bothered me about the hospital where I delivered Landon and she was quite baffled at some of the things I said. Long story short, she said that those things will not happen at this hospital. And I feel very confident that they won’t.

Since it’s the same hospital where Naaman works we swung by to meet his coworkers. They were all so nice especially his bosses. I suppose I better bring a nice housecoat as they’ll all probably show up to visit us on their breaks!

We also had our breastfeeding class. Out of about 20 women I was the only second-time mom, which made me feel a bit strange. But man I feel so much better about breastfeeding this time. I just didn’t know some of the things I know now . . . not saying this guarantees me an easy ride by any means. But at least this time I am armed with experience and knowledge. I truly hope with all my heart that it works but if it doesn’t it will not be for lack of trying!

Not much going on around the house to get ready. At this time we are still in our 2 bedroom home and therefore there is no nursery to decorate. Although I am still a bit bummed about it I know this is for the best. We will be putting a separate changing table in our master bedroom and it has plenty of room for some canvas bins to store all of baby B’s newborn goodies. He will sleep in the mini cosleeper that will attach to our bed. But we won’t be bringing that upstairs until May 1st, when our house temporarily goes off the market.

My mom came over and we went through the tubs of newborn clothing that I saved from Landon’s infancy. Oh my goodness, the memories just came flooding back! It’s amazing how with every little outfit I picked up I remembered a moment in time when Landon wore it. I thought I would cry but instead I found myself sporting an ear to ear grin. I guess it’s starting to feel more real. Yes, I know, I’m 36 weeks pregnant and it still has yet to fully sink in that in less that 30 days we’ll be bringing baby B home.

And one last note . . . I am super excited for tomorrow. My sister and my mom planned a little girls day for me at a local salon and spa. All throughout this pregnancy I have told them that I do not want any type of shower. It just felt inappropriate to me seeing as how I just had three amazing showers for Landon like, um, five minutes ago, haha! I’m not saying it’s bad if others want to have a shower for their second baby but for me it’s just not something that I wanted.

But . . . this is actually perfect. It will be two of my best friends, my mom and sister and my aunt. We’ll just hang out, have lunch and get pretty together! It sounds so relaxing right now and I need a pedicure in the worst way. So I’ll let you know how it goes.

And now I must go attempt to shave my legs in order to shimmy into my maternity swimsuit . . . it could get dangerous since I can’t see below my belly. If I don’t blog again someone please alert the cops ;)

Filed Under: Baby Belly #2, Birth, Breastfeeding, Pregnancy #25 Comments

35 Weeks Pregnant

The bump @35 weeks, 1 day:

IMG_3371

IMG_3372

Just for comparison’s sake . . . my 36-week bump with Landon . . .

DSC02034

What do you think? Bigger or smaller . . . lower or higher? Kind of fun to compare the two pregnancies! Personally, I think my belly with Landon was smaller and lower!

I had to skip week 34 due to the recent tragedy in our family. Things have been busy and difficult, to say the least. The visitation for my cousin was on Wednesday and the funeral was yesterday. There are no other words to say than . . . it sucked. Bad. I have cried a lot of tears and lost a lot of sleep over the past week and I know the stress is not good on me or the baby. But I still felt it necessary to go to both.

I’ve never seen anything more sad than a little boy who is smiling and laughing at his mother’s own funeral because he has no idea what is going on. Maybe it’s better that way, I don’t know. All I know is that it made me think about my time here on earth and how lucky I have been to have all of this time with my precious boy. I have soaked up every last hug and kiss from Landon and Naaman this week.

My out-of-town sisters came back for the funeral so we are all four spending some time together. It feels good to have my entire family together at a time like this.

Unfortunately, I think the stress has done a number on my pregnant body. I already wasn’t sleeping that great. This unexpected loss has only added to the insomnia. I wake up and look at the clock. It’s 3:00 a.m. and I’m wide awake . . . just thinking and sometimes weeping silently. Of course what comes next is contractions and tossing and turning to try to find a comfy spot to fall back asleep. It hasn’t worked and I wake up tired and in a zombie-like trance for the rest of the day.

I had an OB appointment on Wednesday afternoon right before the visitation. I told her about the recent stress and the contractions. Told her they were painful and I have been very crampy all night long. She wanted to do an internal. I am 1 1/2 cm dilated and 50% effaced. If I were a first-time mom I might take this to be a good sign. But since this is exactly how things went with Landon I’m not hopeful for an early debut. In fact, I’m guessing he’ll be right on time at somewhere around 40 weeks. Doctor thinks that he might be just a tad bit larger than Landon (who was an average 6 lbs, 14 oz at 39 weeks) but not by much. And even though I’m really uncomfortable at this point I’m okay with waiting. These last 5 weeks (or less) will fly by, I’m sure.

I had many internals with Landon and none of them ever hurt. But this one was different. It hurt like a mother trucker!!! I bled afterward, which I know is normal. But I’m pretty sure I am now losing parts of my mucous plug with every bathroom break. It’s not that alarming to me. The same thing happened very early with Landon and I still ended up being induced so only time will tell . . .

I have dropped a little but not enough to help me out in the breathing department. I dropped very early with Landon and never felt this kind of feeling. The feeling that someone is standing on your lungs and you can’t take a deep breath! I had a coughing attack the other night and really could not get enough air. And there is no position that brings relief. So I’m just waiting for baby B to drop a bit lower so I can take a nice deep breath. At this time I wheeze like an 80-year-old man with asthma after walking up a small flight of stairs!

We have our hospital tour (since I’ll be giving birth at a new hospital this time) and breastfeeding class next Wednesday. Lately I’ve been feeling pretty okay about breastfeeding not working out. This is a far cry from how I felt awhile back when I wrote this post. I guess I’m just not that worried about it. If it works, it works. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. But I refuse to spend weeks or months feeling guilty this time. I guess I’m just more realistic about it because I know what a challenge it was for both Landon and I. We’ll just gather all the good info we can and I’ll try my best when the time comes. I think what has helped me let go is that Landon is a beautiful, healthy and smart child and he was formula fed. I’m just so over feeling bad about it!

Well, that’s the pregnancy round up folks. We’re really in the home stretch now. I am anxiously awaiting baby B’s arrival with 34 days left or less! Gotta get that hospital bag packed!

Filed Under: Baby Belly #2, Breastfeeding, Landon, Pregnancy #26 Comments