It was five years ago this month. April 2007. I sat in an empty room at my therapist’s office, gripping a pencil so tight that my fingers turned white. I answered the questions of the psychological test. Tears streamed down my face, pooling at the corners of my mouth. I hated these questions. I knew I was [...]
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My purse is hung over my shoulder. The sound of pills click clack, click clack as I walk to wherever I’m going. It’s a common sound. I carry certain pills with me always. Excedrin Migraine for the awful migraines I get as a side-effect of my anti-whatevers. Tylenol for the usual aches and pains I feel deep down [...]
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I am struggling. The depression floated away a month ago but anxiety happily swept in and took its place. It has never been this bad before. It is severe. Complete with panic attacks and heart palpitations. My body physically feels the fear and reacts to it. I have always had an issue with anxiety. But [...]
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A couple of months ago, right before I left for BlogHer, I lost my temper at work. I have had my fair share of criticism in the workplace and I am not too proud to admit that I will never be employee of the month. Something was said to me and in a fit of [...]
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I walked into the large worship hall, head down, eyes unfocused on anyone. I just wanted to sit for awhile. Listen to the music. Watch the people. I didn’t hold my hands up as I sang. I didn’t bow my head as I prayed. I was content to sit amongst strangers in a place of [...]
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When we touched down in San Diego I made my way to baggage claim. Pulled my suitcase off the revolving belt and stood by a few bloggers I had met on the way. I shook hands with a couple of PR reps from a big company. Maybe this wouldn’t be so difficult after all. Maybe [...]
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Yesterday I watched Landon chase a butterfly across the yard. I kneeled down, the cool grass tracing my toes, and just stared at him in awe of his determination to hold something that moved so fast. He bounced this way and that, in the direction of the flying creature, following the tiny bright yellow wings [...]
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To those worrying about someone with a mental illness. To those wondering why they just can’t get it together. To those who love them dearly but have to walk away because they cannot watch lightening strike a person twice or even three times. To those who have watched their loved one fall down again and [...]
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I’m gullible. I am encourageable. I am easily swayed and at times, can be deeply affected by the words of others. Therefore, I shouldn’t read random articles I find on the internet. Period. Case in point – an article with the title Babies’ Persistent Fussiness Could Mean Behavioral Woes Ahead. How my brain read it? IF [...]
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I’ve noticed a trend in the blogosphere. It seems Mondays are reserved for blogging about weight loss. I can support my awesome friends who are on their own journeys to healthy lives but I can’t join in because, well, I don’t need to lose weight. I don’t say that to brag. But I do think [...]
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I'm a working mama to two of the most beautiful and sweet little boys. Landon is 3 1/2 and Brigham is 21 months. Yes, I survived a stint of two under two with a baby who didn't sleep for a year. And if I ever actually realized my dream of walking down the red carpet I'm sure there would be dirt on my dress. I'm just trying not to trip over Tonka trucks. This is where I write, laugh, dream, share, cry, and hope with honesty.
