Walking the red carpet of motherhood with dirt on my dress
Happy Friday, friends!
I am so excited to announce that my story of how we’re becoming debt-free is on The Debt Movement blog today! I never really saw myself writing about personal finance. But after our eighteen month journey I realize I have some great advice to give.
Please jump over and read about how we paid off $20,500 in credit card debt so far! We’re so close to having no credit card debt!
Saving a significant amount of money isn’t necessarily easy. It takes work. It takes sacrifice. When Naaman and I started our journey to becoming debt-free I sat down and brainstormed for ways that we could save money. I’m sure you’ve heard all the usual ways. Calling utility companies to negotiate prices. Using coupons. Shopping during sales. Those weren’t news to me. I thought sure there was another way. So when I was brainstorming a light bulb suddenly went off. Take away the temptation – and you will save money.
Unsubscribe from magazines – Reading magazines was one of my favorite things to do. When I received them in the mail I would scour the pages looking for my next item to buy. There was always something that I just “had” to have. I unsubscribed from most of my home decor and store magazines. The temptation to spend is gone because I don’t see new things.
Unsubscribe from email blasts – How many emails from stores do you get a day? I would get multiple emails a day from stores claiming they were having their “biggest sale ever!” That means one thing – spending more money. Now if you are really looking for an item it would be okay to subscribe to email lists for that particular item to watch the sales. But if you’re really looking to save money – unsubscribe from as many as you can. I’m being honest when I say that it will save you money. If you constantly see new items you are going to be tempted to buy them. And the truth is – you don’t NEED them. You don’t need that new pair of jeans. You don’t need those kids clothes. You just don’t. Once you delete yourself from these blasts I promise you won’t miss them.
Don’t window shop – Do you know what I realized the first month that Naaman and I started Financial Peace University? I realized that I shopped to fill up my time. I used shopping as an excuse to get out of the house. And that habit was costing us precious dollars. Now I only go to stores when it’s absolutely necessary to buy something. I don’t have the self-control to go to Target and just look around without buying something. Now you may be thinking, “Where’s the fun in this?” Well, the first month was really tough. And truthfully I have faltered during our plan. After months of sticking with it, I started going back to stores and just buying whatever I wanted. It’s a bad habit and really eye-opening. Can’t I be happy without buying something new? Can you? Think about it. What is with this obsessive need to buy, buy, buy? It won’t bring happiness. I promise you that. So stop shopping when you don’t have to shop and the temptation will be gone. Find other ways to occupy your time. Take your kid(s) somewhere besides Target.
Don’t compare yourself – It’s only natural to feel envy when someone else gets something you wanted. There are a few things that I would just love to have in my possession. A fancy new camera, a fancy new purse, shoes, shoes and more shoes. We all have our weaknesses. There are a couple of blogs in particular where the bloggers always have new clothes and accessories and I’m left feeling awful after reading. So I don’t read those blogs. I will click off of them if it’s making me feel like less of a person. Why would you continue to read if it makes you feel bad about yourself? If it hits a sore spot and makes you feel like you need to go shopping right.this.second. then stop reading.
I’d just like to say that Naaman and I aren’t poor. I haven’t ever meant to give that impression. We have made a few decisions with credit cards that were mistakes and we’re fixing them now because it’s no one’s responsibility but our own. We work hard. We make good money. The task to become debt-free is not easy but it’s doable. And when we talk about debt-free we mean our mortgage too. Yep, we’re in it to win it. We’re definitely not eating ramen noodles to survive. We’re just being smart and making up for lost time with our finances. We’re making our money work for us. It’s a wonderful thing.
I hope you enjoy my posts that focus on finances. I will never be a personal finance blog but I know from emails from readers that I have inspired a few people to get started on this journey. And that makes me feel good. If there is something you’d like to know about how we’re going to become debt-free please feel free to comment! I’d love to answer your questions.
The spending freeze is done! We made it to the end of the month! Whew. Talk about a challenge! But the truth is, I’m so glad we did this. I tracked every single penny this month. Aside from our “blow money” that we allow each other for each pay period, we really nipped frivolous spending in the bud.
So how’d we come out? I’m not going to reveal actual numbers but we have a significant amount of money leftover. This is even after we had some unplanned expenses.
#1. We ended up having to replace my brakes. My car is eight-years-old and it needed them. So we were out that expense.
#2. I totally forgot about personal property taxes. This was a big expense that had to come out of January’s budget. Oops.
#3. We had to put a down payment on our lodging for our Colorado trip. Really, this expense was supposed to go through in December. But they did not cash the check until January.
So, three big expenses that I hadn’t factored in for the month. But that’s just life, right? Still, I can’t imagine how much we would have had leftover had it not been for those costs.
Would I recommend a spending freeze? ABSO-FRIGGIN-LUTELY!
I thought it would be more difficult than it actually was. But if you stay away from stores there won’t be the temptation to buy things.
You may be thinking that there is no way you could do this. Well, I’m here to tell you that you can! You would be amazed what you find out when you see every dollar come and go in one month. It’s worth it to see how you’re spending and where you can cut costs. I did the math about a thousand times this month to try to guesstimate where we would come out at the end. My calculations were right on target. If you don’t track expenses then you have no idea where you’ll be when month-end arrives.
The spending freeze went so well that I am definitely on board to try this again. February will be interesting what with our trip expenses. But I am willing to give the spending freeze another go in February.
Overall, this was a great way to kick off the year. Naaman and I are so dedicated to getting rid of credit card debt this year once and for all. I know it will happen. And when it does I will come back here screaming that WE DID IT!
I can’t wait. This is such a freeing feeling!
We are halfway through the month, which means we are halfway through our spending freeze month. I thought I would give a quick update since I know some people were wondering what this is all about.
A spending freeze is where you don’t spend money on anything besides basic needs such as groceries, gas and the few personal items that you might have (i.e. diapers, deodorant).
Now, Naaman and I do something each month called “blow money.” It is a budget item that provides us with money to “blow.” Each time we get paid we take out some cash and we can spend it on whatever we would like. But when it’s gone then it’s gone. We went ahead and did that again this month but we aren’t going shopping with it. We’re going to see how long we can hang onto it this time.
My biggest problem is going to Target. I try to stay away from that store if I can. However, I do like to get diapers there so I went in the other day. What is it about Target that makes it so hard to leave with just the items on your list? The key to not spending more than you planned is going in with a list and sticking to it. If you venture through the home or kids aisles you are more than likely going to buy something. And it’s probably not something you actually need.
I bought the diapers, picked up a few groceries and then decided to use a gift card so I could buy a planner. It kind of felt like cheating but in a way it’s not because I didn’t spend money that was already budgeted to something else.
Window shopping is dangerous. This includes shopping on the internet. You may start looking at Etsy and suddenly you just HAVE to have that cute whatever-it-is. But the truth is – you don’t have to have it. Your brain is telling you yes when it should be telling you no.
Is this fun? Nope. It’s not fun at all. I would love to be one of those people on my instagram feed who is constantly taking pictures of their new clothes/shoes/toys/make-up/books/whatever. It is very hard for me to see it. I get jealous thinking that they must make boatloads more money than we do and whaaaaa, it’s not fair.
Well, life’s not fair. We made some decisions and now we’re paying for them. But that’s what adults do. I know for a fact that a lot of people are in the same position we are. They are either still making bad decisions shopping all the time. Or they are saving and tightening their purse strings in order to make a better future for their family. You’re the only one that can make the choice with your money.
When you do a spending freeze you stop thinking of now, now, now and you start thinking of the future. How much money will we have leftover at the end of the month? How much will a big lump sum payment to a credit card save us in the long run?
The part where we get to pay off a large sum of debt at the end of this month? That part is definitely fun! Wish us luck – we’re halfway done!
Just a tip – I use a free budget website called Mint. It is awesome. You link all your accounts online and it keeps track of everything. You create your budget for each month and it tracks that as well. I love it because there is an awesome iphone app to go along with it so no matter where I am I can access all of our accounts. Check it out! It really helps me see the big picture.
I love the holidays as much as the next person but it’s so easy to get lost in the shopping frenzy and forget about budgets and financial goals. I don’t know about you guys but we went over budget on Christmas presents. Every year we say we’re gonna cool it on buying so much but it never happens. It’s mostly my fault since I do the shopping. I see things and I think the boys have to have it! When really, I know that’s not true at all.
So we’re left picking up the financial pieces when January rolls around. We’ve been on a journey with Dave Ramsey for over a year now to get out of credit card debt and although we’re much closer to our goal than we ever thought possible we need to get back on track to be rid of it once and for all.
That’s why I’m proposing something drastic. A spending freeze for the entire month of January.
Some of you have probably heard of this before. Although we did the bare minimum of shopping when we first started the Dave Ramsey program we never coined it a “spending freeze.” But I’m making it official. There will be no shopping for the month of January. Aside from groceries and personal items we will not be buying anything. We truly have everything we need. This is about needs versus wants. And willpower. Lots of willpower.
I’m excited to see where this leads. I’m wondering how much we’ll have leftover at the end of the month to put toward credit card debt. Obviously, if an emergency arises we’ll have to try another month. We shall see . . . wish us luck! Here’s to getting back on track financially in the New Year!
As many of you know, we began the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University one year ago. I thought I would post an update as to how we are doing on the program. I know money talk is supposed to be taboo. But my goal is to help someone. To tell them that if they are struggling with credit card debt, it doesn’t have to be like this.
I remember last year at this time when we first started the class. I sat there and bawled to Naaman about how we would never be able to get rid of such an insurmountable total of debt. At the time it involved five digits. I am ashamed to admit that we let it get so out of control. But knowing the statistics of the amount of credit card debt that most American families hold, at least we knew we weren’t the only one.
Last year at this time, our goal was to be credit card debt free by November 2012. And this spring we were on track to meet that goal. But as we all know, shit happens and plans don’t always work out. When I lost my job (and plump income) in June the debt snowball came to an abrupt stop. We didn’t have any extra to pay off debt. Instead we were focused on paying our mortgage, utilities and food. You know, the important things.
In June, which equals eight months that we were following the plan, we had paid off $14,000 worth of credit card debt. I know. I can’t believe it either.
I am happy to report, at this time we only have $1,900 in credit card debt left to pay off! This is a VAST improvement from the five digits worth we had last September. Can we pause for celebration please???
We also have a small private loan we need to pay off but after all the progress we’ve made I’m no longer worried about if we can do it. The only question I now have is when we will finish.
Many of you might be wondering how we did this. Well, I wish I could tell you that it was easy. But the truth is, it wasn’t. Nothing that’s worth it ever is. We sacrificed a lot. Our house isn’t decorated. There aren’t beautiful wood blinds and fancy furnishings. We still live comfortably. But we live within our means.
Where do I buy my shoes? Payless
Where do I buy my groceries? Aldi
Where do I buy my kids’ clothes? Clearance racks at big box stores
There’s NOTHING wrong with bargain shopping. In fact, I love Aldi more than any other grocery store out there.
Some people might be okay with credit card debt. But we aren’t. I want to save for retirement, save for the boys’ college fund, pay off our mortgage early. These are far more important to me than shopping at an upscale retail store.
Like I said, this isn’t easy. When I see someone get something new it’s still hard for me to grasp that I can’t run out and buy the same thing.
But as it turns out we’re happier on a budget. We’re happier knowing what’s coming in and what’s going out. We’re happier when we send off an extra payment to a bill that has been hanging over our head. I’m proud of us.
I hate it when people say that they will always have credit card debt. That it is normal to have credit card debt. That, my friends, is what is wrong with our society. We just buy buy buy because we think it will make us happy. But it doesn’t. It’s just STUFF. Usually stuff we don’t need. And I urge you to really think about it next time you think you need it because your neighbor has one.
We’re not perfect. Sometimes we break and buy something because sacrificing is hard to do. But we’re determined to change our financial future and in turn, make our lives better and more fulfilling.
We’re back on track to have our last credit card and private loan paid off in early 2013. The cheap paper blinds are worth it.
I notice my legs and arms are tan. This never used to happen when I worked. I was always inside. Typing and analyzing the day away. Only to emerge nine hours later. Tired, whittled down . . . white.
I gave my kids what was left of me. Smiled for them even though I wished to be between cool sheets. Minutes away from sleep.
Now I’m not working. And I’m still tired. But it’s a good tired.
I knew the exhaustion would still be there. Stay at home moms have the hardest job in the world. But at least now I go to sleep thinking of my happy family. Instead of wondering what I’ll have to force myself to do the next day.
It was a lazy morning. A jammies until noon and cereal for lunch kinda day. I let the boys do things they’re not supposed to do. Like climb on the back of the couch and play basketball with the ball hurdling toward our fancy dining room table.
I wonder what it would be like to have the freedom to always be a stay at home mom. I know it’s not possible for us. At least not right now.
We were getting so close to having our credit cards paid off before I lost my job. Now our plan had to abruptly stop.
We’ll start it up again soon. Pick up where we left off. Finish what we started, damn it.
We will.
Our boys will be better for it.
Will I be better for this break in being a working mom? Will I learn to appreciate the time I do have with my family before it’s time to go back?
I sure hope so.
It’s nap time and it’s quiet and I’ve got a lot of straightening up to do before the boys wake. Soon it will be noisy again.
Soon I will be tired again.
Good tired.
linking up with Just Write
The rich rule over the poor and the borrower is the slave of the lender. Proverbs 22:7
There have been no vacations.
No new clothes or shoes or purses.
No dinners at fancy restaurants.
No shopping for unnecessary stuff.
There have been budgets and grocery lists and a whole heck of a lot of no and we can’t.
But there is also hope.
Oh, how there is the hope that we will no longer owe anyone money someday.
That the credit card companies won’t know our name or address anymore because we know better now.
That we will be free from the overwhelming amount of pressure that debt can put on a person.
The borrower is the slave of the lender.
But we refuse to be any longer.
As of today, we have paid off $10,000 worth of debt.
We did so in six months.
We’re well on our way. We can see freedom in the distance.
And it feels so damn good.
This is for you, boys. It’s all for you.
And thank you, thank you, thank you, Dave Ramsey, for changing our lives.
this dude will kick your financial ass
See that guy above? That’s Dave Ramsey. He’s the new man in my life. Or I should say OUR lives. Naaman and I took a leap of faith and enrolled in Financial Peace University.
We finally have a plan to get our finances in order. I am tired of being stressed about money and bills and the future. I am tired of worrying what is in store for my boys futures. I am tired of working so hard and not being able to pursue our dreams. We want to control our money. Not have money control us.
We signed up for the online classes in September. I have my friend Leah to thank for this. It has already taken a huge weight off of our shoulders.
To date we have paid off $5,000 in credit card debt in three months! We are on track to have it all paid off by the end of this year!
This process is scary. Correction – this process is TERRIFYING. In 2009 I resigned from my job two days before I found out I was pregnant with my second child. We went from debt-free to super stressed in about four weeks. I don’t think we are in that much trouble but we knew if we continued to spend like we were then it would come crashing down just like the rest of the economy.
Before each month begins we have a budget meeting and set our budget for the coming month. There has to be a category for everything. Anything that is leftover goes to your debt. No more confusion at the end of the month when we see how much income we brought in and have no idea where it went. This isn’t a game of monopoly. It doesn’t grow on trees (no really, I checked just to be sure).
Have you ever gone to your fave store and tried to buy only the things on your list? No stopping at the jewelry counter. No gawking at the cute winter clothes. Not even designer shampoo will work as an example of items that might squeak by in the “but I needed it” category.
Case in point – I recently needed to run to Target to buy two items. This was after we started Dave’s program. I decided not to get a cart because, hello, it would have looked lonely without something else in it. So I walked in and got only what I needed. I was literally shaking in the check out line because I wanted to buy something. I didn’t care what it was. It could have been watermelon bubble gum. I just wanted. Wanted. Wanted. Wanted.
That’s what we call an addiction, folks. I’ve been hesitant to call my shopping habits an addiction because I never shop at expensive stores anymore. But buying a lot of inexpensive stuff eventually adds up. I call it the detox phase of debt reduction. It got much easier after the first month.
The frivolous spending had to stop if we want to be debt free. I mean just that. No credit cards, no car payments, no student loans and eventually (gulp) no mortgage. And before you say no way – just know it can and will be done. I just have to stop buying a new wardrobe every time I walk into Target and stop going out for lunch every day.
The thing I love best about FPU is that Naaman and I are working as a team. We are both taking the classes. We are talking about money in a healthy way. We are learning and growing together as a couple. We are not going to let debt pull us under.
I know this sounds extreme. I know managing your finances is usually a private topic and it’s a personal choice as to how you handle it. I’m sure there are plenty of people who have a good system and use credit cards responsibly. But I thought I might help someone by putting this out here.
And just so you can see that I’m being honest? Here’s a photo of our murdered credit cards. I may have cried when I cut up the Banana Republic Luxe card. But now I’m so glad I did.
we went all "dexter" on our cards
p.s. I was not paid or compensated in any way to write this post. Dave Ramsey has no clue who I am although I wish he did. I’m just hopeful and you know, sharing is caring in the blog world.
I was alone last night.
He was gone, playing a soccer game with a friend. I walked into our bathroom. Leaned in close to the mirror. Ran my pointer finger under my eye, wiping away mascara marks that gathered in the wrinkles throughout the day.
I turned around and leaned up against the counter, breathing deep. My hands spread across the cold granite and I saw his things. Deodorant, vitamins, electric razor. I can’t wait for him to get home.
My husband. He has been working so hard. Last week he worked six days in a row. That may not sound bad. Until you find out he’s an RN working 12 hour shifts. He is so committed to providing more than enough for our family while we try to pay off our debt fast. Determined to give our children the future that they deserve.
He is a hard worker, possessing a work ethic that not many people our age have anymore. He regularly gets awards at work. He doesn’t want them or need them. He would provide the same care for sick people if he never received them. He is always on time for work and won’t leave until all of his duties are complete. This means that sometimes he doesn’t get home until 8:00 p.m.
So we sit, his boys and I, eating whatever meal I’ve managed to fix after a long day at work. I put kitchen towels over the food for him, trying to keep it warm so he doesn’t come home to a cold dinner.
Landon says, “Someone’s missing.” As if daddy’s just playing hide and seek. Daddy misses dinner. Daddy misses bath time. I know he doesn’t want to and I don’t want it either. But he is in the medical field. We are grateful for a stable job. We are grateful for a paycheck that always comes.
I start the bath for the boys. I can’t wait to hear the garage door go up. I can’t wait to see him come up the stairs. I can’t wait to hear the boys scream, “daddy!”
I guess it’s okay that I don’t see him very much these days. Because every time he comes home I’m reminded just how much I love him.
I can’t imagine if one day he didn’t come home. I don’t even want to think it.
We’ve built this marriage. We’re building this life together.
My things mix with his things in the bathroom. Our toothbrushes touch in the cup on the counter.
And I smile. I’m waiting for the garage door to go up. I’m so glad he comes home to me.
