It was Saturday. The boys went down for an afternoon nap. I kept myself busy. Dishes clanking in the sink, the sound of the dryer thrashing wet clothes round and round. Until finally I stopped cleaning, looked around and breathed. I slipped off my shoes, grabbed my journal and opened the sliding glass door. With [...]
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It was gloomy and rainy on Sunday. The boys went down for a nap in the afternoon. I brewed a 2:00 cup of coffee and sunk into the corner seat of the couch, watching as droplets of water pelted the windows in our living room. I sipped confidently knowing that none of it would spill over [...]
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I walked into work today, disheveled, moody, hurting to see home again. My shirt sloppily untucked. My cardigan unbuttoned. Wet curls dangling at my shoulders. There was not time to dry them. There never seems to be enough time. Landon was coughing and sniffling and complaining that his ear hurt. But I still had to [...]
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I wanted to be the next Jewel. On tour, strumming my guitar while singing love songs to an adoring audience. instead Every night, I have the pleasure of performing You Are My Sunshine and Rock-a-bye Baby to the two most adoring fans I could have ever wished for. ——– I wanted to write the next [...]
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My purse is hung over my shoulder. The sound of pills click clack, click clack as I walk to wherever I’m going. It’s a common sound. I carry certain pills with me always. Excedrin Migraine for the awful migraines I get as a side-effect of my anti-whatevers. Tylenol for the usual aches and pains I feel deep down [...]
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I was alone last night. He was gone, playing a soccer game with a friend. I walked into our bathroom. Leaned in close to the mirror. Ran my pointer finger under my eye, wiping away mascara marks that gathered in the wrinkles throughout the day. I turned around and leaned up against the counter, breathing [...]
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I walk aimlessly through the toy aisles of Target. Eyes popped, on the look out for something for Brigham. Landon makes shopping easier. At least he can tell us what he’s interested in. But Brigham. Brigham makes me question why we do this at all. I’ve been having a hard time validating the money we [...]
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My alarm goes off. I hit the snooze button, a reflex I’ve perfected over the years. I hit it multiple times because once never completely wakes me. The third time it beeps, I finally flip over with a sigh and peer out of the covers with just my eyes. The sun does the same on [...]
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I stare carefully at the fresh word document before me. Completely white like a snowfall spread out over the driveway before anyone has woken to change it with tire tracks. My story lies still on this morning. Waiting for fingers to tap dance across the keyboard and bring it to life. I want to. I [...]
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Another doctor’s appointment. Another med change. Sometimes the medicine works. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it works for awhile and then it stops working for some unknown reason. This game. This game is enraging. I never have control. It’s a game of roulette. The doctor picks the number and I watch the wheel go round and round. [...]
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I'm a working mama to two of the most beautiful and sweet little boys. Landon is 3 1/2 and Brigham is 21 months. Yes, I survived a stint of two under two with a baby who didn't sleep for a year. And if I ever actually realized my dream of walking down the red carpet I'm sure there would be dirt on my dress. I'm just trying not to trip over Tonka trucks. This is where I write, laugh, dream, share, cry, and hope with honesty.
