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a vacation just for us

The last time Naaman and I took a real vacation alone was in 2007. I swore before we had kids that I would never let us go that long without an adults-only vacation. But the the kids came (in rapid succession). Jobs were gained and lost. The kids were super young and needed us all the time. The opportunity never felt exactly right.

Last year we were in the throes of paying off our credit cards and it just wasn’t financially feasible. But this year? This year I knew we had hit our breaking point. It is no longer a want. We NEED a vacation. A vacation just for us. It has been 5 1/2 years since we got away together. That is way too long in my opinion.

When it comes to travel I like to plan ahead. Naturally, I started looking for a beach destination. Somewhere that we could lay in the sun and relax. I researched every all-inclusive in the Riviera Maya. And then I remembered something. Naaman doesn’t like to relax. He is more of a go-go-go type. While I would be fine sipping piña coladas under an umbrella I wanted him to have a say in where we go too. And his first pick wasn’t Mexico.

So where are we going?

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We’re going to Breckenridge, Colorado. That beautiful photo of the mountains was taken by me in November of 2006. We went on a family vacation to Breck and it was an absolute blast. That was Naaman’s first experience snow skiing and he loved it. He is very athletic and took to it quickly.

So when I asked him where he really wanted to go he told me he’d like to go skiing again. And since I love to snow ski I figured it was an awesome plan. The next day I was able to buy two round trip plane tickets to Denver for $200. Yep, it was definitely a sign that we chose the right location. We’re still on a budget and this was an amazing price for airfare!

We’re all set for a mid-March vacation to Colorado for four nights. When I realized we had booked our trip during peak season I figured the prices for lodging would be sky-high. I was right. So I looked for alternatives and found a sweet little rustic condo on Vacation Rentals By Owner. It is only a couple blocks from Main Street and you can ski-in and ski-out because there is a lift right across the street. It was a steal and we’re so excited that this trip is still within budget.

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I can’t wait until March gets here so Naaman and I can do this again . . .

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We are so ready for a vacation just us two!

Fall Family Photo Shoot 2012

Landon is four and Brigham is two and I knew that it was time for a family photo shoot to mark their age. We chose to have Megan take our photos on the first day of fall.  She is a long-time blogging buddy of mine (seriously, I can’t remember how long ago I started reading!). We both have two boys that are close in age and she just so happens to have a budding photography business. What better reason to meet in person?!

She was just as sweet and genuine as I imagined and the boys really warmed up to her. Apparently Landon asked her if she could come home with us :)

What Megan probably doesn’t know is that she has been integral in my journey to strengthen my faith in God. I read her blog, a woman who truly believes in Jesus, and I want to be more like her. Someone that praises Him each day.

Isn’t blogging amazing? I’ve made real connections with awesome people. It just means the world to me.

So thanks, Megan, for encouraging me AND for taking such beautiful photos of our family.

Oh, how blessed I am to have this life and this family.

Workin’ at the carwash, yeah

A few weeks ago the boys helped daddy wash his car. They had a blast and of course, were completely soaked afterward. It was a good last hurrah before we say goodbye to hot summer days! Not many words today. I’ll just let the photos tell the story.

Showing Up

Sunday is our sixth wedding anniversary. Six years of marriage. It is small peas to my parents who have been married for 46 years. But to me it seems like so long ago that we celebrated that joyous day. It seems like I’ve been with him forever.

A little known fact . . . I had a lot of nightmares leading up to that day. I dreamed that my flowers were red and pink when the wedding colors were supposed to be blue and chocolate brown. I dreamed that the photographer didn’t show up and we had no pictures of our beautiful day. I also dreamed (multiple times) that I was left at the alter. Naaman just didn’t show up. Well, it couldn’t have been further from the truth. Of course he showed up.

I think it was my mind’s sub-conscience trying to convince me that I wasn’t good enough for him. That there was a girl out there that was surely better. One that didn’t make as many mistakes as I did. One that never snapped or yelled or said things they would later regret. One that cooked.

But he came and stood at the end of the aisle. His smile bigger than I have ever seen.

He was there to marry me. And he was really happy about it. I think I dreamed those dreams because I was so scared of losing him. My best friend. The only man who had ever accepted me for exactly who I am. Who would love me if he didn’t?

Thankfully I don’t have to worry about that.

Sometimes, eleven years after falling in love, I still ask him why he chose me. He always looks at me like I’m ridiculous. Like, why am I asking this question after all we’ve been through together? It’s simple. He chose me because he fell in love with me.

We wrote our own vows and read them through tears. One of the things he wrote always stuck with me.

“When I think of the thing that makes me a complete person, it’s you.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. However cheesy it may sound I know I wouldn’t be complete without him. Isn’t that how love is supposed to be? You can’t imagine life without the other person in it. I can’t. I can’t do it without him.

So what have I learned in six years of marriage? Love is all about showing up. For the good. For the bad. For the best. For the worst. Just show up for each other. Whether you feel like it or not.

Naaman,

I’m so glad you showed up that day and all the days since. I promise I’ll show up for the rest of my life.

 

All images taken by Allure Imagery. See our whole wedding day unfold here.

 

My Forever Valentine

I’m so glad we’re walking this path together . . .

There’s a new man in my life


this dude will kick your financial ass

See that guy above? That’s Dave Ramsey. He’s the new man in my life. Or I should say OUR lives. Naaman and I took a leap of faith and enrolled in Financial Peace University.

We finally have a plan to get our finances in order. I am tired of being stressed about money and bills and the future. I am tired of worrying what is in store for my boys futures. I am tired of working so hard and not being able to pursue our dreams. We want to control our money. Not have money control us.

We signed up for the online classes in September. I have my friend Leah to thank for this. It has already taken a huge weight off of our shoulders.

To date we have paid off $5,000 in credit card debt in three months! We are on track to have it all paid off by the end of this year!

This process is scary. Correction – this process is TERRIFYING. In 2009 I resigned from my job two days before I found out I was pregnant with my second child. We went from debt-free to super stressed in about four weeks. I don’t think we are in that much trouble but we knew if we continued to spend like we were then it would come crashing down just like the rest of the economy.

Before each month begins we have a budget meeting and set our budget for the coming month. There has to be a category for everything. Anything that is leftover goes to your debt. No more confusion at the end of the month when we see how much income we brought in and have no idea where it went. This isn’t a game of monopoly. It doesn’t grow on trees (no really, I checked just to be sure).

Have you ever gone to  your fave store and tried to buy only the things on your list? No stopping at the jewelry counter. No gawking at the cute winter clothes. Not even designer shampoo will work as an example of items that might squeak by in the “but I needed it” category.

Case in point – I recently needed to run to Target to buy two items. This was after we started Dave’s program. I decided not to get a cart because, hello, it would have looked lonely without something else in it. So I walked in and got only what I needed. I was literally shaking in the check out line because I wanted to buy something. I didn’t care what it was. It could have been watermelon bubble gum. I just wanted. Wanted. Wanted. Wanted.

That’s what we call an addiction, folks. I’ve been hesitant to call my shopping habits an addiction because I never shop at expensive stores anymore. But buying a lot of inexpensive stuff eventually adds up. I call it the detox phase of debt reduction. It got much easier after the first month.

The frivolous spending had to stop if we want to be debt free. I mean just that. No credit cards, no car payments, no student loans and eventually (gulp) no mortgage. And before you say no way – just know it can and will be done. I just have to stop buying a new wardrobe every time I walk into Target and stop going out for lunch every day.

The thing I love best about FPU is that Naaman and I are working as a team. We are both taking the classes. We are talking about money in a healthy way. We are learning and growing together as a couple. We are not going to let debt pull us under.

  • So we’re cutting the credit cards up (sob and also? Scary).
  • We’ll be using the envelope cash system. When the money is gone it’s gone.
  • We’re meal planning with e-mealz again and setting a strict budget on groceries. Our food expenses were way out of control. Not anymore. We shop primarily at Aldi. I don’t care what anyone thinks. It’s awesome. My weekly grocery bill is always under $100 for all meals for four people. Sometimes I do even better than that! And I save time because there aren’t 50 choices of pasta sauce.
  • No vacations. Maybe not for a long time (big tears but Dave says the best vacations are the ones that don’t come home with you!).
  • No new home décor or furniture. This is so difficult since we just moved. But I can thrift!
  • I unsubscribed from store emails. It doesn’t make sense to save money on shit I don’t need anyway. Cutting out the temptation.
  • We’re being strategic with gift-buying (including Christmas) and starting a budget for that category.
  • We take our lunches to work now, usually leftovers from our yummy meal the night before.
  • I’m not going into a store unless it’s a necessity (until I feel strong enough to do so without busting the budget). Thanks to Allison, I just discovered the awesomeness that is The Dollar Store.
  • We will learn to say no to our kids. Oh guys, if I could explain to you how difficult this is for me. I want to them to have everything they want and my heart still breaks a little every time I say no. But apparently saying yes all the time is not healthy for them either.

I know this sounds extreme. I know managing your finances is usually a private topic and it’s a personal choice as to how you handle it. I’m sure there are plenty of people who have a good system and use credit cards responsibly. But I thought I might help someone by putting this out here.

And just so you can see that I’m being honest? Here’s a photo of our murdered credit cards. I may have cried when I cut up the Banana Republic Luxe card. But now I’m so glad I did.

we went all "dexter" on our cards

 

p.s. I was not paid or compensated in any way to write this post. Dave Ramsey has no clue who I am although I wish he did. I’m just hopeful and you know, sharing is caring in the blog world.

waiting for him

I was alone last night.

He was gone, playing a soccer game with a friend. I walked into our bathroom. Leaned in close to the mirror. Ran my pointer finger under my eye, wiping away mascara marks that gathered in the wrinkles throughout the day.

I turned around and leaned up against the counter, breathing deep. My hands spread across the cold granite and I saw his things. Deodorant, vitamins, electric razor. I can’t wait for him to get home.

My husband. He has been working so hard. Last week he worked six days in a row. That may not sound bad. Until you find out he’s an RN working 12 hour shifts. He is so committed to providing more than enough for our family while we try to pay off our debt fast. Determined to give our children the future that they deserve.

He is a hard worker, possessing a work ethic that not many people our age have anymore. He regularly gets awards at work. He doesn’t want them or need them. He would provide the same care for sick people if he never received them. He is always on time for work and won’t leave until all of his duties are complete. This means that sometimes he doesn’t get home until 8:00 p.m.

So we sit, his boys and I, eating whatever meal I’ve managed to fix after a long day at work. I put kitchen towels over the food for him, trying to keep it warm so he doesn’t come home to a cold dinner.

Landon says, “Someone’s missing.” As if daddy’s just playing hide and seek. Daddy misses dinner. Daddy misses bath time. I know he doesn’t want to and I don’t want it either. But he is in the medical field. We are grateful for a stable job. We are grateful for a paycheck that always comes.

I start the bath for the boys. I can’t wait to hear the garage door go up. I can’t wait to see him come up the stairs. I can’t wait to hear the boys scream, “daddy!”

I guess it’s okay that I don’t see him very much these days. Because every time he comes home I’m reminded just how much I love him.

I can’t imagine if one day he didn’t come home. I don’t even want to think it.

We’ve built this marriage. We’re building this life together.

My things mix with his things in the bathroom. Our toothbrushes touch in the cup on the counter.

And I smile. I’m waiting for the garage door to go up. I’m so glad he comes home to me.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

teeth & intuition

Last week I had a nagging feeling that wouldn’t go away. It had been a year since Landon’s last dentist appointment. I had been putting it off because his first visit to the dentist was, let’s just say, unsuccessful.

We didn’t go back and I waited too long to find a new dentist for him. Until finally, last Friday, I reluctantly looked up our dental insurance and started searching for a reputable pediatric dentist. One with a fun atmosphere filled with toys and pops of color. And a staff that knew how to work with kids’ teeth.

I clicked on a random link and noticed they had an after-hours emergency line. I’ll probably never need that, I thought, but you never know. And I put it out of my mind. Since it was Friday afternoon I made a note to call the next week.

Fast forward to Monday afternoon when I received a call from Naaman. When I saw his name come across my phone I knew something had happened. It was mommy intuition.

Naaman told me that Landon lost his grip and tumbled off the jungle gym at the park. He fell smack on his face and lost a bottom tooth. I was shocked. But of course I was asking if the rest of him was okay before caring about the tooth. He assured me Landon was fine and was begging to stay at the park to play even after the accident! So I kept my Girl’s Night Out plans with friends because I guess it just didn’t register to me that it was that bad.

When I got home he was already asleep. Of course I went in to see what he looked like with one less tooth. But when I pulled his lower lip down I noticed the two teeth to the side of the missing one had a huge gap between it. My heart sunk. I touched the teeth and they wiggled back and forth. He grimaced in pain when they moved. Naaman was right next to me and was very upset. I asked him if Landon had eaten anything and he said not much. I knew that the other teeth would probably have to come out.

I surprised myself when I did not freak out. Ordinarily this type of situation would have sent me into a ball of tears with expletives flying out of my mouth left and right. But this time? This time I knew what to do. I went downstairs and looked up the same pediatric dentist that I had found just three days earlier. And there it was. The after-hours emergency phone number. You just never know.

Or do you?

I called and the dentist actually answered at 11:00 p.m.! I was already impressed. She was so kind and told us to come to the office first thing in the morning. We were there by 8:30 and they squeezed us in. Landon was terrified even though the entire office was decorated in dinosaurs. He screamed, cried, flailed about and refused to open his mouth for the x-rays, which meant his mouth had to be pried open with tools. Sure enough, one of the loose teeth would have to come out.

We toyed with the option of an oral surgeon and general anesthesia. Only because he was so upset that we didn’t think they could get through the procedure if he was trying to escape the whole time. But we decided against that approach. Naaman held our sweet boy as they gave him the shot and that part was the worst of it. I’ve never heard him cry like that in his three little years. It was heartbreaking.

Before we knew it, it was over and he was missing two teeth. We decided to keep the third loose tooth in to try to save it. But if it hurts him too much or turns a different color it will have to come out too.

Two missing teeth. Possibly three. And his permenant teeth won’t come in for years. I didn’t cry until he was in bed for the night. Then the tears came.

But Naaman has cried more about this than I have. He feels like it’s his fault. The guilt is really hurting him. And I just want to say (because I know he reads my blog) that you are the best daddy our boys could ever have, honey. It was not your fault. Our child is a daredevil and thinks he is invincible. But you’re a daddy that will always try to catch your sons’ falls. That is ALL that matters.

I am trying to keep perspective. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who are like, it’s just teeth. What’s the big deal? Well, I was kind of used to that perfect white smile. He would flash that grin at me and I would just melt into a big love puddle. I am so worried that kids will make fun of him as he starts kindergarten or first grade with missing teeth. I am worried that his language might be disrupted. But I understand that it could have been much worse. Broken jaw or cheek, concussion, eye wound. Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it.

Landon is doing great. He has been so brave and was telling everyone about his “big accident” at school. All the girls were concerned for him.

So the dental drama is over (hopefully). But I keep going back to one thing. That nagging feeling I had three days before the accident. I know not everyone believes that everything happens for a reason. But I do. I always have. It’s like I knew before it even happened that I would need that dentist. That I would choose to click on that link that led me to a website where they just happened to have an emergency dental line.

Three days before. It was more than a coincidence. Landon was supposed to lose those teeth. I don’t necessarily understand why.

But I know his smile is uniquely his. And I still melt into a big love puddle when he flashes it at me.

Sweet Everythings

Today is very special to me.

It sounds so simple to write. But I use the word very with gusto. Trust.

Ten years ago I went on a first date with a guy that I knew very little about.

I was nearly 23-years-old and it wasn’t anything fancy because he didn’t have much money.

Chicken strips at a local chain restaurant. An awful rented movie at my college apartment.

But then there was saying goodnight. Walking him to his car in the dark with the stillness all around us.

My heart pounding so hard with nervousness I thought sure he could hear it.

I hadn’t felt this way in a long, long time.

We stood by his car talking and talking.

When suddenly he asked me the sweetest question I’ve ever heard.

“Would it be okay if I kissed you goodnight?”

No man had ever asked my permission to kiss me.

No man had ever asked my permission to do anything.

We both leaned in. That shy kind of lean where only your heads move forward but the rest of your body stays behind.

Lips meeting in the middle.

And I knew.

Just like I knew the first time I saw  him. A feeling in the great blue abyss of my soul.

He would be an important person in my life. I just didn’t know how important at the time.

All the others that came before him. They always whispered sweet nothings in my ear.

And that’s exactly what they turned out to be. Nothings.

But this one. This one was special.

He would be the first man that ever whispered sweet everythings in my ear. Sweet promises that he always kept.

Five years later I married him.

Because I trusted that his promises would be kept. The sweet everythings would never stop.

My intuition finally got it right.


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I can’t fight this feeling anymore

Okay, it’s official. I like fall.

I never used to. I know it’s like American sacrilege not to like fall. It got the cold shoulder from me by default. Fall is winter’s best friend. And I hate winter. So I have to dislike fall, right?

But I cannot deny my love for fall anymore. It’s so perfect this year. The tops of the trees are toasted by the autumn sun. The crunchy leaves that float to the ground are the butter of the season.

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What can I say? I guess it finally melted into my heart.

And the boys have been just darling lately. Not that they aren’t always darling. But it seems all the extra activities and fresh air have lifted their itty bitty spirits.

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With each new experience comes little pointing fingers and exclamations of discovery. An excitement and wanting that only a new season can bring. If people were to ask me what’s so amazing about being a parent. I would tell them that you get to explore your world, your earth, all over again. But with a pair of new eyes that just happen to be closer to the ground.

On this day, we went to a farm on the outskirts of the city. Brigham discovered some hens there.

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I followed Landon into the beautiful apple orchard atop a hill.

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Most of the trees had already been picked clean. But that didn’t stop Landon from looking.

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Speaking of discoveries. Brigham discovered the hard way that a pumpkin is not a sandwich.

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Awhile later, Brigham let us know that it was time for a tractor ride. He was very excited, indeed.

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Off we went in search of the perfect pumpkins.

Suddenly, the fields were spotted with hundreds of orange dots!

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The inspection.

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It was a good one.

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We may have cheated a bit for Briggy’s sake and let him choose from the country store. He may or may not have caused a pumpkin avalanche when he started rolling them down the hill. In his defense it was hilarious.

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And so our fall day at the red barn farm has come and gone. I have no idea why I tried so hard not to like fall. But I can’t fight this feeling anymore. I’ve forgotten what I started fightin’ for.

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When we left I asked Landon if he knew why all the leaves were falling off the trees. He said, “Because it’s fall!” So I asked him if he knew what season comes after fall. He thought about it awhile and then his eyes lit up with a very loud answer, “CHRISTMASSSSS!!!”

On second thought, let’s just stick with fall for a little bit longer.

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