She Wore an Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny . . .

I’ve got this catchy little tune stuck in my head this morning. Why? Because I’ve been dreaming of summer. I actually think of summer all winter long. I can’t help it. I love summer. The sundresses, the flip flops, the fresh green grass and bright blue skies . . . I love it all. Yes, even the heat that rushes over my cheeks when I first get into my car after it has been setting in the sun.

One of the things that I think we will be doing a lot of this summer is swimming. I think I’ve mentioned this before but Landon loves water. He’s pretty obsessed with it actually. He knows that he gets a bath after dinner time so when he is done with dinner he starts saying, “bath, bath, bath” over and over again. Then I start running the bath water and he is trying to get in with his clothes on! He has been putting his face under water for a long time and blowing bubbles. But recently, he has been floating on top of the water, tummy-side down, and kicking his legs behind him. Yep, our little man is going to be an awesome swimmer. I kind of called it when he was born on 08/08/08, the start of the summer Olympics when Michael Phelps won 8 gold medals in swimming.

My parents have a pool and since I’m not working I figured we’d be out there a lot so we could swim. Then I suddenly remember . . . I’m going to be right in the thick of trying to lose the baby weight! I’m not too sure I feel comfortable showing off all my “tubbyness” starting in June. But I know I’ll want to get in on hot days even if I’m still a little “mushy.” So I’ve got to find a cute new swimsuit that will meet my criteria.

#1. It must cover up the ass and thigh dimples that have formed while baking our precious little boy

#2. Since I’ll hopefully be breastfeeding (cross your fingers, everyone) the top needs to cover what will undoubtedly become Double D breasts.

I have searched online a lot trying to find something that would work. Last year, I was a wuss and bought a tankini but it seriously annoyed me because it wouldn’t stay down in the water. My mom and I were shopping the other day and decided to head into Sears to look at comforter sets. As we were browsing I noticed the Lands’ End section of the store. And what to my surprised eyes should I see? A perfect yellow polka dot bikini. I never would have thought that I would buy clothing at Sears. But the Lands’ End section is actually pretty sweet.

Here’s a sneak peek of what I’ll be getting . . .

And I will even score bonus points with the hubs because he loves the color yellow on me ; ) Now we can all be fish in the water this summer even though my body will still be recovering! I can’t wait!
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30 Weeks Pregnant

The bump: (um, did I swallow a basketball?)

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How far along: 30 weeks, 2 days. Less than 10 weeks now, people! I can barely believe it!

Total weight gain: Let’s just not discuss this any more, mmmkay?

Sleep: Hate it.

Best moment this week: Just lots of hard punches and kicks from our little guy. He is gettin’ jiggy wid it in there and I love it! He is *supposed* to be well over 3 lbs at this stage. And I can definitely feel hard body parts exploring around in there. Elbows and feet, possibly? It’s the most amazing thing. When I lay down at night I watch my belly for a little while and it’s like the circus has come to town. I’m going to try to get it on video so I can share. Tickets to the show will be free ;)

Food cravings: I just can’t stop craving donuts. It makes no sense because I never eat donuts when I am not pregnant. See, it’s the baby who wants them. It’s not me I swear!

Gender: BOY!

Differences & Similarities between #1 & #2: Mother trucker, the horrid back pain is back in full force. It started about 26 weeks with Landon and 28 weeks this time. It honestly feels like someone is repeatedly stabbing or punching me in the middle of my spine. And nothing helps. You would think that sitting down would feel better than standing but it doesn’t. It hurts so bad to sit down. I did massages during my first pregnancy to try to eradicate the pain. It didn’t work. A few people have recommended seeing a chiropractor. Have any of my readers done this? I’ve never been and have heard some bad things about them so I am unsure about it. But I would seriously love to find something that would help. Baths, maternity belts, heating pads, massages, tylenol . . . nothing works and it hurts all.day.long. 

29 Weeks Pregnant

The bump:
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How far along: 29 weeks

Total weight gain: 23 lbs . . . yes, you read that right. And I have absolutely no idea how I have already gained this much weight. I know I shouldn’t freak out about it but you know what? I’m freaking out anyway. When I saw 141 on the scale I almost cried. I think it’s because I already know first hand how hard it is to get that last 10 lbs off your belly and butt after the baby is born. Also, I figure that the baby will actually only be between 6-7 lbs. I just think I bake small buns ;) Then you have the placenta and fluid retention and crazy big boobs. But man oh man, why do your hips and butt have to expand so much, geez . . .

Sleep: To put it mildly? It sucks. I wake up every 30 minutes. Who feels rested after a night of sleep like that?

Best moment this week: Hearing B’s heartbeat. I haven’t heard it in over a month because of transitioning to a new doctor. It was really good to hear the strong little bomp, bomp, bomp, especially after being so sick and feeling like I was starving him.

Food cravings: Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Seriously. I have to stop.

Gender: BOY! Just a side note that this week I had a phase where I was ready to change baby B’s name. Naaman talked me out of it but I think it’s funny that we’ve been calling him by name since our 18 week ultrasound and suddenly my inner voice was telling me that the name we picked was all wrong. I’m back to being sure though. Oh, the indecision of pregnancy!

***A little update on my latest appointment and meeting the new doctor . . . I thought she was nice enough. She seemed a bit rushed, however, and I ended up feeling like it was a bad time to ask questions. I decided that we will continue on with her and at my next appointment Naaman will get to meet her and he can help me decide what he thinks. At the end of the very short appointment she told me that she has two boys 20 months apart and they are best friends. She said that I will love the age difference. That was encouraging! I never planned to have 2 under 2 but I will embrace it with an open heart and mind. I actually think it’s going to be pretty amazing to see my two baby boys together! My sister Cindi and I are only 13 months apart and I can’t remember a time from my childhood when she wasn’t there. She and I were two peas in a pod and I hope that is exactly how Landon and B are together : ) I can just hear them both giggling and playing together and it makes me really really happy.

I found out that I passed the 1-hour glucose test! I was a bit taken aback by the number though. It was only 50 even after drinking the glucose drink. When I told Naaman the number he said that if I were an inpatient at the hospital they would have treated me for that, especially since I’m pregnant. I do remember feeling very ill after I got home from the blood test. I felt like I was going to throw up and needed to take a nap. The nurse was a bit taken aback by the number but the doctor didn’t say anything so I figured all is well. But now I’m worried. I might call them later to ask them about it.

My next appointment is March 24th. I’ll be 33 weeks and then I start going every two weeks! Our hospital pre-registraion and tour is only 3 weeks away. This is really happening. We’re getting close and I am kinda sorta FREAKING OUT! In a good way, of course : )

28 Weeks Pregnant

Sorry for the lack of posts. Last Friday I started feeling under the weather and by Saturday I was puking my guts out and could not keep anything down. Naaman took care of me when he got home that night and then an hour later . . . he was puking his guts out. We had to call in reinforcements the next morning. My mom and dad took Landon home with them and Naaman and I just laid in bed and took turns barfing. It was a super romantic valentine’s day, let me tell ya! We had dinner reservations at one of my favorite restaurants but of course, that didn’t happen. I guess we will have to celebrate valentine’s day another time because I want my piece of red velvet cake with cream cheese icing, damn it! Anyway, it’s back to regularly scheduled programming.

The Bump: (please ignore the streaks on the mirror)
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How far along: 28 weeks, 3 days

Total weight gain: 15 lbs . . . I think it’s still the same because I lost weight during the awful stomach flu!

Sleep: It’s not that great. Lots of tossing and turning. My hips/pelvic bones ache so bad. I had forgotten about that pain. I had it when I was pregnant with Landon. I lay on my left side and 30 minutes later I have to switch sides because my hip hurts sooooo bad. Oh well, not much longer now.

Best moment this week: The realization that I am finally (holy shit, people!) in my THIRD
TRIMESTER!!! Less than 12 weeks to go now . . . and we’ll have a brand new little one to love on!

Food cravings: Last week nothing sounded good but I’m back to craving donuts so no worries ; )

Gender: BOY!

Belly Button in or out: Almost ready to pop out.

What I’m looking forward to: Naaman finally made the switch to being full-time at a new hospital. While I am extremely happy about this new opportunity for him, it meant new insurance which meant that I would have to switch doctors AND deliver at a new hospital.  I seriously love my current OB so I am very sad about this. But it’s the best option for our family right now. I will meet my new OB this Wednesday and I hope I love her because I really don’t want to keep searching. Wish me luck!

Differences and Similarities between #1 & #2: I added similarities to this section because it seems that the further along I get in my pregnancy the more it reminds me of my pregnancy with Landon. For the past couple of days I have been experiencing that really bad back pain that I had with Landon. I just can’t get comfortable no matter how I sit. I really don’t think my small body was meant to have a huge basketball on the front of it. I can tell my spine struggles to figure out how to support the extra weight in my core. It hasn’t gotten quite as bad as Landon but I can tell that it’s probably going to be quite painful from here on out. The difference is I don’t have time to think about the pain. I’m a mom now. Gotta keep moving!

26 Weeks Pregnant

Skipping the fashion show this week. I don’t match and I just woke up in these pictures, lol.  Enjoy!

Bare bump:
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Front of belly: (I have a stupid tattoo and a stretched-out belly button ring hole. And yes, I regret both of them)
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I’m also going to skip the pregnancy quiz for a general baby/mama update.

I have not posted regarding the progress of my depressive episode that started rearing its ugly head in December and got worse in January. I am very happy to report that I am doing much better! I can’t begin to describe how supportive and wonderful my OB was when I told her that I was certain I was becoming depressed. She took it very seriously, as I think all doctors should, and stayed in the room talking to Naaman and I for a good twenty minutes. I explained to her all of my symptoms and in turn, she explained our options and what she felt was the best choice for the treatment of depression during pregnancy. She told me that she sees many pregnant patients every week suffering from varying degrees of depression. And she has seen positive outcomes with a small dosage of antidepressant. The verdict? Zoloft. A very small dosage every morning. Although skeptical, I agreed to it and filled the prescription the next day.

I woke up the next morning and stared at the pill bottle for a good five minutes. I picked it up, inspected the tiny green pill and started crying. Let me tell you this is one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make. On one shoulder sits a negative little devil with horns telling me what a terrible person I am for putting my needs first. On the other shoulder an angel is telling me that things will get much worse if I don’t try something and to trust my doctor and God that this is the right decision for BOTH mama and baby.

After much soul-searching . . . the angel won the argument. And I’m glad she did. I’m feeling 90% better! I have had no side effects at all from the drug and it’s just amazing how stable I felt after only two weeks. My OB has me coming in every two weeks for follow up and to check on baby B. And my therapist has me coming in during the weeks that I don’t see my OB. So in essence, I am being “checked up on” every week by a professional.

When I walked into my therapist’s office last week, she told me I had the swing back in my arms and the pep back in my step. I took that as a good sign. I’m not usually a good “faker” when I’m depressed. I have trouble hiding my emotions. So when I’m sad or troubled . . . people know it. Same on the opposite spectrum. When I’m happy people know it!

My only wish in taking this medication was to make sure I was stable and happy when B arrives so I can take care of my family and myself. The good news is . . . it looks like I’m going to get my wish!

Please understand me when I say that this is not easy. Depression is real. It is a very valid concern during pregnancy and millions of people suffer from this every day. Obviously, pregnancy doesn’t give me a free pass. And I’m okay with that. I have to do what is best for me and my baby and trust me when I tell you that this is what is best. It would be so easy for someone to use the word never in this situation. For instance, I would never take antidepressants while pregnant. Never say never. I’m taking it. I’m doing better. Baby B is doing fine and because of this we can be one big happy family of FOUR in May.

Instead of feeling sadness, fear and anxiety about adding to our family I am feeling happy and excited. And I can FINALLY say to my new little boy . . . mama can’t wait to meet you, hold you, and love you with all of my heart, soul and being. Ahhhh, that feels so good.

25 Weeks Pregnant

The bump:

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How far along: 25 weeks

Total weight gain: 15 lbs

Sleep: It’s going okay. Landon has a big mean molar coming in so he has been quite restless. He wakes up and whines and then goes back to sleep but that directly affects how I sleep! I don’t like it when he is in pain.

Best moment this week: I had a very vivid dream last night about baby B. My skin was stretched so thin that I could actually see him. He was so adorable in my belly. I know it sounds like a creepy dream but it is really the first time I have ever dreamed about him. When I woke up I had a warm fuzzy feeling that he is doing just fine in there. Deep down inside I am still worried that there might be something wrong with him and this dream made me feel better.

Food cravings: Girl Scout Cookies!!! When I saw the box with the Girl Scout logo on it setting on my front porch I was absolutely giddy!  Thin mints and shortbread and peanut butter patties . . . OH MY!

Gender: BOY!

Belly Button in or out: Almost ready to pop out, I swear!

What I’m looking forward to: I wasn’t going to have maternity photos done but I found a great photographer who had a great deal going on so I went ahead and booked her. I am now SO excited to do these. Of course, Naaman and Landon will be a part of them too. I think I will have them done between 30-32 weeks so stay tuned for that!

Differences between #1 & #2: It’s definitely getting a bit tougher to play on the floor with Landon. Bending over is already difficult at this stage and I’m sure will only get more so as the pregnancy progresses. Obviously, I wasn’t playing on the floor with a toddler last time around so it has definitely been challenging. It’s more uncomfortable to hold him too because there’s a big belly in the way. But we’re managing ; ) Overall, I’m still feeling really good physically. It’s truly been a big blessing!

24 Weeks Pregnant

Now that I’m working I’m actually wearing cute maternity clothes again so my photos might be more stylish! That’s why you’re seeing two outfits. One from yesterday and then from today. I’m warning you though, when I get home I immediately switch to pajama pants and t-shirts.  It’s more fun to veg in comfy clothing. By the way, sorry I skipped week 23. We were super busy!

The bump:
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The bare bump:
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How far along: 24 weeks

Total weight gain: 15 lbs. I’m supposed to gain between 25-30 lbs total so my doctor assures me I’m right on track!

Maternity Clothes: Yes, finally getting to wear my cute work maternity clothes again!

Sleep: Lots of tossing around. It’s hard to get comfy when your baby NEVER stops kicking you. B is not on the same sleep schedule as his mama.

Best moment of this week: Landon giving me belly kisses and “zerberting” his brother. He does it all the time now. He will lift up my shirt and he actually laughs when he sees my belly. It’s hilarious. I tell him, “Landon, did you know your baby brother is in mama’s belly?” He looks up at me with deep concentration trying to understand what I’m saying. I point to my belly and he starts kissing it. Sometimes he lifts up his shirt too and so I have to return the favor and kiss his belly : )

Food cravings: I was really craving a Wendy’s cheeseburger yesterday so I indulged.

Gender: BOY!

Belly Button in or out: It’s flush. Still has yet to become an outie.

Labor Signs: Let’s hope not.

What I’m looking forward to: Only 3 more short weeks and I will be in the 3rd trimester! How is that possible? This is the fastest and easiest pregnancy ever.

Milestones: Baby’s face is fully formed now. Skin is really thin so you can see through it but if I could see through my belly I could see how all of his facial features would look. I try to think of what he will look like but all I can picture is Landon ; ) I think they are going to look a lot alike.

Differences between #1 & #2: B kicks me all the time. I do not remember Landon kicking me this much or this early. He immediately lets me know if he doesn’t like the position I am sitting/sleeping in. He will kick the crap out of me until I move positions. He’s very picky and knows what he wants! But it isn’t very fun being woken up at 2 a.m., 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. Well, you get the picture.

One thing is for certain. I am carrying him very low, exactly the same as Landon. I always hear pregnant women talk about how they get kicked in the ribs. I never once got kicked in the ribs with Landon. Not once! My belly is much bigger than I was with Landon at this point in pregnancy. I’m guessing B will be at least over the 7 lb range, which is perfectly average. Landon was 6 lbs, 14 oz. so almost crossed into the 7 lb range. I think B will be bigger but not by that much. It will be fun to see how similar or different they are when B is born.

Captured and Treasured

I periodically try to organize the photos I take of Landon. Usually when I do I get sucked back into old folders of seriously yummy newborn goodness. I don’t think there is a better way to get me excited about doing this again in 4 months!

Also, this week is National Delurking Week so if you visit my blog but don’t comment please do so.  I’ve given you plenty of reasons to comment in this post ;)

First trip to the park.  I just want to snuggle him!
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From our professional newborn photo shoot. I love this one because it shows how nervous I was. It had only been three weeks and I’d never really held a baby in my entire life until I had my own son. I think it shows how in love I was with him but also the raw emotions that come with being a new mom.
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Bubba’s little baby yawns. Is there anything cuter? Can’t wait for more of these from B.
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He always had to have his arms above him when he slept. No, this baby was not a fan of swaddling at all!
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Oh, how our Bubba loved bath time. Still does. Personally, I just think he likes being naked wrapped up in a fuzzy towel!
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Okay, that’s enough for now. But I do enjoy looking through our memories of that first year. And although I’m still terrified at times to have another I will admit that I’m more excited and happy about it than I am scared. These memories that we captured and I still treasure help a lot.

Nursery Plans

I hesitated to do a post like this.  Mostly because all of these “plans” are up in the air until we sell our house and have enough room. I still believe it might happen with the extension of the $8000 tax credit.  Our house is right in the price range for a nice starter home for first-time buyers. We’ve had good feedback but just haven’t found that one special person who comes through and knows it’s the house for them! We’ve been close though so I think it’s just going to take another month or two. Especially since it’s been -12 outside! Who wants to go house hunting in this mess? Please keep your fingers crossed for us that we will sell our house before B is born in May.

These are some ideas that I have for B’s nursery. No matter what he will stay in our room for the first few months or so in our cozy mini cosleeper (highly recommend this bassinet, by the way).  So glad we kept all of Landon’s items!

For furniture, I’d like to buy something from Target. Why? Because we currently have over $250 in Target gift cards. If we could buy it on sale and with free shipping I think that would be a big savings! I am really crushing on this crib right now.

I have always loved the look of white furniture but somehow all of the furniture in our house is dark wood!  I knew that I would want to find white furniture even if baby #2 was a boy.  This is the perfect set because it is still plenty masculine.  I also like that it has storage beneath it for extra blankets and sheets.
I also really like the matching dresser/changing table.
I’m kind of stumped on colors.  I don’t really want to do a matchy-matchy theme.  For Landon’s room we did a jungle animals theme but I don’t think it was overly baby-ish.  I still don’t want to do light blue.  I’d like to do something a little more non-traditional.  I saw this picture in a Land of Nod magazine and immediately liked it.  Orange seems like a super cool color for a boy!  Playful and cheery!
And speaking of this picture, I also really love the stickers on the wall.  I mean, how cute would that be for a boy?  Totally thinking of copying this entire room when we buy our new house.  Orange and gray would be the main colors in the room and I don’t know, but I just think this seems like a groovy color scheme.
Though not set in stone, these are just some of my ideas for B. I know no matter what he will have his own room soon enough but it’s fun to think about decorating another room even though it doesn’t quite exist yet. Let me know what you think! Too cutesy? Not so keen on the orange? Whatdayathink?
And don’t worry, when we move Landon will be getting a new “big boy” room complete with a toddler bed!  I’ve got cool ideas for him too : )

22 Weeks Pregnant

So what’s up with baby B this week?  Let’s find out!

The bump:
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How far along: 22 weeks

Total weight gain: a whopping 13 pounds {runs to hide in shame}.  Can I just add that I have no idea where this 13 lbs is hiding?  I feel the same size with the exception of a big belly!

Maternity clothes: since I’m not working, I’m afforded the luxury of wearing pajama pants and t-shirts all day long.  This is so very different than last time when I had to try to squeeze my expanding body into cute work clothes every day and make myself look presentable!  But it’s saving us money, that’s for sure!

Sleep: I had to go pick up my saving grace, known as the Snoogle pregnancy pillow, because my belly is just not comfy anymore.  I’ve got to have something between my knees and also something underneath my belly to allow me to sleep.  My right hip is already aching during the night.  This didn’t really happen until week 28 last time. But whatever, it’s part of the deal.

Best moment this week: Hearing B’s heartbeat at our appointment.  Strong and perfect!

Food cravings: Donuts and milk.  Just like last time.  I have to have lots and lots of milk.

Gender: a precious baby boy!

Labor signs: Let’s hope not

Belly Button in or out: It’s right on the cusp of no longer existing, if you know what I mean.  Stretched out just to the point of looking like there is no belly button at all.  Weird.

What I’m looking forward to:  I’m excited to go through the tubs of newborn/baby clothes we used for Landon.  Many of the clothes were worn only once or twice and I am so happy that we get to pull them all out and use them again!  Tiny little socks, cute little overalls . . . it will be so fun to look through all of them and think of the memories of Landon wearing them.

Milestones:  B is kicking ALL the time now.  A strong kick to my bladder here.  Then a punch to my gut there.  He’s very active, which is nice during the day.  Not so much at night.

Differences between #1 & #2: Going off of the assumption that we will not sell our house {don’t say we won’t though because I might kick you in your chins} we will not be ordering new furniture because there isn’t anywhere to put it.  By this time with Landon we had already picked up our furniture at the store and enjoyed putting it together.  I had already registered for the baby bedding and thought of the decor.  I don’t think I’m registering at all this time because I don’t want any baby showers.  It doesn’t feel appropriate when we were just “showered” two years ago!

If we aren’t moving we don’t need much of anything. There are pros and cons to this. The pro is that we are saving thousands of dollars using everything we had last time! The con is that I don’t get to be excited about decorating a nursery or getting anything new. Boo hoo hoo. I’m completely depressed about it but I know we will not be in this tiny house forever. Eventually I’ll get to decorate TWO new rooms for both of my boys as well as a big play room! I’m looking forward to that fantastic day!

P.S. I’m sorry for all the blog changes.  I am working on finding just the right layout and design so please bear with me.  I’m quite indecisive as of late!

Cloth Diapers Revisited

The last {and only} time I wrote about cloth diapers on this blog was in my 2009 Earth day post. I wrote about how I was going to transition Landon from disposable diapers to cloth diapers. I was so excited and passionate about this step. Unfortunately, our transition was unsuccessful and I hadn’t revisited the thought of cloth diapering . . . until now.

A bit of back-story. I went to the class on cloth diapering at one of the only “green” baby stores in our city.  Frankly, I found the owner to be unhelpful and quite judgmental. It had been a bad day of teething so I understand that my emotions were running a little high {and we were running a little late} but her attitude didn’t help me want to come back to her store.

Still, I decided to stay through the class and learn about all the different types of cloth diapers. There are so many kinds. Pre-folds, All-in-ones, Pockets . . . it’s like learning a new language and can be completely overwhelming for newbies like me. After the class I decided that I wanted to buy some of what I thought would be the most convenient for us. This would be our trial period.

I ended up choosing two different brands; bumGenius and Fuzzi Bunz. I chose bumGenius one-size diapers because they are known as an all-in-one. This means that it’s one piece and I don’t have to fiddle with “stuffing” the diapers with extra inserts. I loved that it was a one-size diaper meaning that it would grow with Landon from 7 months {our time of transition} to whenever he was fully potty trained.

I chose Fuzzi Bunz as an alternative diaper to try. I bought the medium size but it came with all kinds of snaps so that it too could grow with your child up to 35 lbs. The difference is this is a pocket diaper meaning I could stuff it with an insert {or two or three for overnight}. I wanted to try that option too just in case the BG didn’t work out.

I loved the way they looked. So cute and fluffy. So soft next to my skin. They just felt better than pampers or huggies or any of the disposables. I really felt like I was doing what was best for my baby.

The next day, with a big grin on my face, I got them out to try them for the first time. Imagine my disappointment when both diapers leaked when Landon peed. I didn’t understand the problem!

Naaman was standing there watching the utter failure of our trial and because he was only on board to save money he was not too keen on me going back to the store to buy a bunch of others just to try. The bumGenius cost $18.95 and the Fuzzi Bunz cost $17.95. So the diapers were washed and shoved into the back of the closet. Never to be used again . . . or so I thought.

Fast forward ten months . . . Landon is now 17-months-old. I was bored to tears two days ago, sorting through some things in the closet when what should I spot but those beautiful, barely-used cloth diapers. I hesitated only for a second but then reluctantly pulled them out to be used at the next changing.

First I tried the BG all-in-one diaper.

Made sure it was tight enough around his legs and let him move around just like normal. He is a VERY active little boy. Jumping, running, climbing, dancing. Guess what? They did not leak! I changed him after 2 hours when I realized he had peed. There was much less moisture on his skin than when he wears pampers so I was very happy about that.

Next up, I tried the FB with the insert in the pocket.

About 2.5 hours into play time he began to look suspect. He is now pretty good at letting me know when he is pooping. So I went into change him and he had peed and pooped, none of which leaked out anywhere! I was so impressed and excited that they were working. I don’t know if the previous leaks had to do with his smaller size or if I just wasn’t putting them on tightly enough. But now they work like a charm! I have since learned that there are diaper trials on the cheap. This could have helped us save money while we found the diaper that worked for us. We’ll probably do something like this when B arrives.

Even though Landon is already 17-months-old it’s never too late to transition. Especially since cloth diapers can be used for more than one child. I always told Naaman that when our next child was born we would definitely cloth diaper from the beginning so I’ve been doing research on the best newborn cloth diapers.

Seriously folks, these are NOT your mother’s cloth diapers anymore! The myths and misconceptions just don’t hold up. The choices are a plenty and they are awesome for your baby, your pocketbook and the planet!  If we cloth diaper B from the beginning it will be a savings of between $1,200 to $2,000. That’s not just change in the bucket. Yes, it’s an investment up front but there are good deals to be had if you look around.

For instance, I found a woman willing to sell me 18 Fuzzi Bunz diapers. They are all brand new except for one that was used once. She sold them to me for $10 each! So that’s $180 to start. But brand new that purchase would have cost me $324. That’s a big savings! Especially when you factor in that we will use them for B too.

There are still details to sort out like how to wash the diapers, what detergent to use, etc. but I am so happy that this alternative might work out after all.  I promise I will keep you guys updated on our progress!

Like Sands Through the Hourglass

Last year I wrote a long drawn out post with ten resolutions for 2009. As I thought about what to write for 2010 I went back and read them. Truthfully, I haven’t been back to look at them since I wrote them. And when I did I wanted to simultaneously laugh and cry. Boy did I sure put a lot of pressure on myself! I realize now that I shouldn’t have done that.

I don’t think there is any harm in writing down your goals. It’s supposed to be a good thing. But when I look back on those goals it just makes me feel bad about myself because all I accomplished still doesn’t feel like enough. Lately everything makes me feel bad about myself.

You see, I had tried to deny it throughout the months of November and December but it is now clear that I am once again going through another one of my depressive episodes. Honestly, I kind of expected it. These episodes have been happening since I was 15-years-old and even though some people in my life don’t fully understand why, they will continue to creep up and knock me and any confidence I have on my ass. That’s just how it goes when you’re dealing with bipolar II disorder. It can be controlled but there is no cure. This is something I will have to manage for the rest of my life, like millions of others in this world. That thought both frustrates and saddens me. Frustrates me because oftentimes, especially during these episodes, I feel like a victim. Why did God choose this path for me? Saddens me because I just want to be a happy positive person but my brain chemicals won’t let me be who I want to be!

Since I can’t take medication right now I was holding out hope that my pregnancy hormones would ward off depression just as they did when I was pregnant with Landon. No such luck. But I am thankful that I have been through enough of these episodes to know the difference between a bad day and full-on depression.  I am thankful that I have done enough therapy and research to recognize when getting better is beyond my reach.

I have all the classic symptoms, i.e. random spurts of crying, sudden internalized anger, unable to muster up enough energy to perform basic life skills (taking a shower, doing the laundry or dishes), loss of concentration, no desire to talk to or be around family members or friends.  Basically feeling so overwhelmed with the thought of doing anything that I just plain can’t pull myself out of bed.  Is that what you would consider a bad day?  What if you felt like this for a week or an entire month?

I just want to note for any worry warts out there that I DO get out of bed.  I DO take care of my son.  I feed him, play with him, change his 12 diapers a day and hug and kiss him all day long.  I’ll admit that sometimes I have to force myself to do it.  But he is my greatest motivator.  Sometimes I will roll out of bed at 5:30 a.m. even though I don’t want to because he is up and jibber-jabbering.  I will walk into his room and see that huge grin on his face and suddenly I realize I’m actually smiling!  Oops, wait, stop smiling Molly because you’re supposed to be depressed!  I will sing our usual morning songs while changing him and getting him his milk.  It’s nice to know that even though I am having a really rough time right now there is still sunlight in the shadows of this disorder.

One positive about having had this disorder for all of my adult-life is that I am armed with the perspective that I CAN and WILL get better.  That’s why they are called “episodes.”  I’m convinced that much of why I feel the way I do is circumstantial.  Unexpectedly leaving my job (and my nice salary), rarely seeing Naaman because he has to work so much, trying to sell our house in a down market, and how about we throw an unexpected pregnancy in there?  I am happy to have this surprise blessing in our lives and I feel certain this baby is here for a reason.  But I am still pretty upset about the timing of it all.  All of these circumstances at once could drive anyone to their breaking point.  But someone like me who doesn’t come wired with the usual coping skills?  It’s a recipe for disaster.

Blogging about my struggles and strengths with this disorder is something I think I need to do more of this year.  Maybe it will help someone else out there to know that they are not alone. That you can manage motherhood AND mental illness successfully. I do realize that writing about this on my blog subjects me to the awful and unfair judgment of strangers. There are still so many in this world who don’t understand mental illness. They never will. They see it as a weakness or a fault. They see me as someone who  doesn’t deserve a loving husband or a beautiful family.  They assume that if I can’t be happy then I don’t deserve what I have.  But they’re wrong.  Just because I suffer from depressive episodes through no fault of my own does not mean that I don’t have the same right to happiness that everyone else does.  I desperately wanted to reach the same milestones as most everyone else. Highschool and college graduation, successful career, engagement, marriage, babies.  I am still a human being with feelings and a heart and I am convinced that I deserve the same happiness as everyone else.

One misconception is that I can turn the depression switch on and off.  That I can “snap out of it” or “get over it.”  Oh, if it were only that easy.  I do not choose to feel this way.  I was born this way and had some horrible things happen to me when I was a teenager that exacerbated my symptoms.  Do you think I don’t try to wish these feelings away every day?  I would give anything if I could just snap my fingers and feel happy.  I know what it is to be and feel truly happy. And I want those feelings back as soon as possible.  But I’m smart enough to know that this won’t just disappear into the background.  Not without regular therapy and medication.  I suffered through many years of agony and the darkest pain before I was able to come to this realization.  But now I can get help before I reach my lowest of lows.

It’s a New Year.  2010.  There is so much to look forward to this year.  A new little miracle will enter my life and I want so much to be ready to welcome him into the arms of a happy, more centered mama.  I want to feel the unspeakable joy that I felt the day we brought Landon home.  I don’t think I’ve ever smiled a bigger smile in my life than on the day when we came home and put him in his crib for the first time.  I want that with B and I’m trying to remain hopeful that I’ll get that chance.

But right now it’s oh so tough.  I am once again feeling resentful of tragic things that have transpired in my life.  So much so, that I start to forget that my entire life sets within an hourglass.  I have no way of knowing how much sand is left.  All I want is to be grateful for every particle that falls to the other end because that means that God has given me another day.  Not the ones that are still waiting to go through.  Not the ones that have already fallen. I want to be grateful for the sands that are falling through the hourglass right now.

My next OB appointment is Tuesday.  She knows all about my history with this disorder and is ready and willing to talk about treatment while I’m still pregnant.  I will let you all know how it goes.  I am hopeful that there is a solution for me so that I can get better.  I am smart enough to know that I have to act now.  I cannot wait until after B arrives.  Thoughts and prayers are always welcome.  Every good vibe sent my way helps a bit.

21 Weeks Pregnant on New Year’s Eve

The bump:

Bare bump:
IMG_2874
B and I did not have a very good day yesterday.  I had Braxton Hicks contractions a few hours after waking up so I took a long shower, drank some water and laid back down to see if those buggers would subside.  I felt sick to my stomach and had a massive headache.  This might sound weird but I suddenly felt really pregnant!  I haven’t felt really pregnant yet since I saw two pink lines so I guess 21 weeks is a record or something!  My belly looks so much bigger to me today.  I honestly get the feeling that B is further along than anyone thinks.  And who could blame me?  I still have serious doubts as to when we actually conceived this baby!  All we know is B is ahead as far as growth goes so we shall see.

Another thing that worries me is that B is currently breech.  He has been head up in every ultrasound we have had so far.  I know most people will say he has plenty of time and room to get into the correct position but I would rather he just make that move now.  I do not want a c-section after having had Landon vaginally.  Let’s not screw with two different parts of mama’s body, mmmkay?  That just wouldn’t be fair!

I realize it’s premature to be worried about the baby’s position but Landon was in position by 18 weeks and pretty much stayed put.  We received multiple ultrasounds due to placenta previa to confirm that Landon liked being head down.  Oh, if only my pelvic bones could talk.  So baby B if you could please master a head stand some time before your due date it would be greatly appreciated!  I thought the tightness in my belly today might have been from him getting into a new position.  My belly just feels different now if that makes any sense at all.

Our NYE plans do not include fireworks or champagne or anything very exciting for that matter.  Naaman is working and must work tomorrow also.  We typically celebrate when the ball drops in Times Square, which is 11 p.m. for us.  It gives us an extra hour of sleep!  Yep, we are officially lame.  But at least we are lame together and not lame alone!

To all my readers . . . have a fun and safe celebration tonight ringing in the New Year!  2010 is going to be a good one and I’ve got some big plans for my fourth year of blogging!

Breastfeeding – Round 2?

I like to equate breastfeeding to a fight that would take place in the UFC. In one corner, you have the breasts. They’re strong and ready for a fight. They’ve trained all their lives, especially hard the last nine months, to be ready to do something that they were destined to do. In the other corner, you have the mom. She thinks she is strong enough, ready for a fight. She’s trained for the last nine months to be ready to do something that she felt her body was destined to do.

Ding, ding, ding . . . round one starts. From the start, mom struggles to find her footing in the octagon. She inches toward her competitor even though she is nervous and unexperienced. By all standpoints, she’s a rookie. First time in the ring, so sure of herself during the last nine months. Now that she gets her first real view of her competition it doesn’t seem so easy. She lunges forward and lands the first right hand. Mom prematurely thinks she might win and lets down her guard a bit, even smiles at the thought of possible victory.

Suddenly, a swift kick to the leg, a hard punch to the gut and she’s down. Locked in a submission known as the rear naked choke. She tries to hold on. Tries to get out of the death grip that the competitor has her in but it’s too late and she has no other choice but to tap out. Sadly, mom loses the fight.

Yep . . . that was me after Landon was born. I lost my first fight with breastfeeding. Now it seems that even though Round 1 was not that long ago, Round 2 is fast approaching. In twenty weeks or less I will be in that octagon again. Truth is, I don’t feel ready for the same match-up.

Is it strange that I still feel a knife in my heart when I hear a pregnant woman say they will breastfeed their baby?  Is it even stranger that when I find out breastfeeding is working once said baby is born that the knife twists a little?  I don’t know.  I can’t understand why my feelings are so strong on this subject.  Especially since we have a beautiful son who is healthy, happy and thriving after being fed Similac {gasp} for most of his first year.  All I know is that when breastfeeding didn’t work out it was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make to give my son formula.

I think it still hurts me because it is the one thing I feel I failed at as a new mom.  Not that I am perfect in every other aspect of parenting.  But I’m a good mom in every way possible . . . and I’m so envious when I hear a pregnant woman say that they will breastfeed.  I want to say, “How do you know?  Because I knew that too and look what happened!”  But pregnancy is a beautiful time of unawareness. Who am I to knock them down?  I do miss that “sure” feeling that first-time pregnant moms have.  Now I find myself making a much more accurate statement.  I say, “I’ll give it my best shot!”

I’m not writing this post to piss anyone off or gain sympathy from people nor am I writing it to defend what I believe was a valiant try the first time around. I’m writing it because I was never emotionally ready to talk about how difficult the process was for Landon and I.  Even more difficult was the process of admitting defeat.  But I have finally decided to write it all out so I can sort through my thoughts on the subject in preparation for Round 2.

I had Landon on a Friday night.  We were in the hospital all day Saturday and left around 2:00 p.m. on Sunday.  We weren’t really there for very long.  But I was always clear with my doctor and the nurses that yes, I would be breastfeeding my son.

During our short hospital stay I had numerous lactation consultants coming in and out of our room “teaching” me how to breastfeed. I appreciated that the hospital had people to help me at the time. But now that I think back on it they weren’t that helpful. In fact, they downright confused me! They would each come in and tell me something different. Tell me that THIS is the way you are supposed to do it and the kicker? They raised the hospital bed up and kept telling me to “sit up straight.” Did these ladies forget that I just birthed a baby out of my vagina? It was kinda sorta (snort, snort) still sore from doing that and sitting up straight was like sitting on a pin cushion with the pointy part of the needles facing UP! It hurt like hell! But who was I to stop them and tell them they were wrong? Now I know that I should have said something. Now I know that there are much more comfortable positions that would have saved me that agony. Let’s just say that the combination of me cringing through each feeding and a sleepy baby trying to latch onto my inverted nipples, well, that was not a good mix. Rest assured, during Round 2, I will slay anyone who tells me to “sit up straight.”

I am not saying that our hospital experience was terrible. Everyone took really good care of us for the short time we were there. But there is one nurse who said something to me that, even in my sleep-deprived state, I will never forget. Our plan was always to have our baby room-in with us. I was dedicated to breastfeeding and wanted the baby right next to me so I could breastfeed on an as needed basis.  It was when Landon started to develop jaundice that what I wanted seemed to fly out the window.

It was early Sunday morning, close to 1:00 a.m. I think.  Our last night in the hospital when a nurse came in to let us know it was time to feed him.  They had already taken him a couple times throughout the day to check his bilirubin levels.  When she came in the door I thought okay, let’s gear up for another painful BF session!  But instead she just took him out of the hospital bassinet and started to walk away.  I think I said something like, “Don’t you want me to breastfeed him?”  She replied, “I am going to take  him to the nursery and supplement with formula.”  I said sheepishly, “Oh, um, I really don’t want to supplement with formula.  At least not this early.  I want him to be breastfed.”  She instantly looked annoyed with me and said, “Okay, you can breastfeed him.  Just know that you most likely won’t be taking your son home with you tomorrow unless we feed him.”

You can pick your jaws up off the floor now.  Yes, she actually said that to me.  And no, I don’t think I know more than those in the medical field but I do feel that it was a mean, terribly inappropriate thing to say to a new mother who had been sick with worry about her son after a traumatic birth experience {more on that later}.

So what did I do? I very reluctantly gave in.  I let her take him to the nursery.  How many times they supplemented and with what I have no idea.  I just laid there and bawled in the hospital bed knowing in my heart that my son needed to eat.  But also knowing that if we were already supplementing with formula in a bottle on his second day of life that all my hopes to breastfeed might be dashed.  I listened to them tell me that formula was necessary and yes, maybe it was.  I know they were just trying to protect him but what that nurse said still pisses me off.  I was not prepared to go to battle on my son’s second day of life.  I was not prepared with knowledge about jaundice.  I was not prepared for the shitstorm of information that was given to us in those two short days and how there was no intelligent and careful way to process it all when I was #1. in pain and #2. more tired than I had ever been in my life.

So that was how our breastfeeding process started in the hospital.  Ironically, it was not as smooth as a baby’s bottom.  And if you think that’s where the problems ended, yeah well, it’s not.  We had a month’s worth of breastfeeding issues so this post is to be continued . . .

But let me just say that by starting to write about this process and sort through it all I begin my training to fight Round 2.  And this time I want to win.

19 Weeks Pregnant

First things first. The 19-week bump . . .

IMG_2589

I’m going to forgo the pregnancy quiz this week in place of an update. Baby B is fine and dandy in my uterus. We had the follow-up ultrasound on Thursday and although I was nervous we were quickly reassured by the doctor who told us our baby looks great! He is even bigger than he is supposed to be at this point in pregnancy! The focus in the heart is still there but is a non-issue. It causes no problems for the heart and will probably disappear in the third trimester.

There are no other markers present to suggest any birth defects and truthfully, B looks exactly like Landon on the ultrasound pictures. Exact same facial features . . . so it will be interesting to see if B is Landon’s twin 21-months removed. I have a feeling he will be. We know he’ll be just beautiful.

Thank you to all of you for praying for us during this time. It was a very emotional week for me but I feel much better now. I left the doctor’s office feeling nothing but relief!

I’m still feeling really good. None of the aches and pains of my last pregnancy. As I’ve mentioned before I became horribly ill with the flu when I was 17-weeks pregnant with Landon and never really truly recovered until I was about 26 weeks pregnant. I felt sick, run-down and in pain the entire time coming down with secondary infections such as bronchitis and severe sinus infections.

This time I feel none of that. Oh, I’m more tired than usual but my appetite is great. My energy level is still good. My back and ribs don’t hurt at all. It’s wonderful to be able to be able to enjoy this pregnancy physically!

Emotionally, however, it has been a little rough. It’s been pretty stressful around here what with our house on the market, unexpectedly going from two incomes to one and the thought that if we don’t sell our house then we really have no need to buy anything for this baby. We’ve bought one outfit for B and that’s it. There is no nursery to plan for and decorate. There is no closet or dresser to fill. It doesn’t seem as fun as planning for Landon. I know, I know, a teeny tiny baby doesn’t need its own room. He will be next to me in the bassinet for the first few months anyway. But I still want him to have his own space. I want him to have his own furniture and clothes and toys. And it’s not that we can’t afford those things. We can. But there isn’t even a corner to fit it in right now. So, it’s a bit heart-wrenching thinking about how I will feel if we are still here when B arrives. And honestly, it’s looking like that is how the cookie is going to crumble. Speaking of cookies . . . I’m off to go make some. Better to drown my sorrows in food rather than tears anyway, right?

But I know the MOST important thing is that we are having a healthy baby! That is truly all that matters to us. The rest will work itself out eventually.

Introducing Baby "B"

First off, Naaman and I are excited because we have officially chosen a name for our baby. Henceforth, he will be known as Baby B because yes, we have decided to keep the name a secret. Sneaky, eh? But we think it’s fun that way and will announce it on his birthday. Feel free to guess all the names in the whole world that begin with B but I doubt anyone is going to guess right.

I wanted to provide you with some more details about the ultrasound(s). I chose not to discuss it during the big reveal because I wanted a day to just enjoy the news that we are having another precious little boy.

When we went in for our ultrasound that morning we had a lot of fun watching the baby on the screen. The tech took her time measuring every part of our baby but was having trouble getting him to move around or switch positions (he was breech and rolled up into a tight ball). She kept having me turn to my left side and then to my right. Nothing seemed to be working. After about 20 minutes I just flat out said, “So do you think we’ll be able to find out the gender today?” She said, “Baby is in the worst possible position to find out gender and not only that but the cord is between its legs, which by default ends up looking like a penis.” Ugh, I felt so much disappointment. I really wanted to know by that point! She asked if we had an appointment after that to which I replied yes. She said, give it thirty minutes and I’ll squeeze you back in and try again.

So we go into the OB’s office straight away and wait for her to come in. When she does enter the room she immediately starts telling us that the ultrasound showed a marker in the baby’s heart. All I can tell you is that my mind went blank and the tears instantly started swelling up in my eyes. I tried to hold them in. I tried to listen but it seemed like everything just went blurry and I tuned out to what she was saying. All at once I cowered over, put my head in my hands and just bawled for five minutes. I didn’t even know exactly what I was crying about yet except that everything was not perfect. And I so wanted it to be. Let me tell you ladies, you just don’t ever want your doctor to look at you like my doctor was looking at me.

Naaman came to my side and got me to calm down enough to be able to listen to the doctor’s explanation. Apparently, the tech found what is called an Echogenic Cardiac Focus. This can be a soft marker for Down’s Syndrome. Soft means that other markers usually need to be present in order to it to be of real concern. So the fact that there are no other markers at this point is a good sign. However, she is referring us to a perinatologist for a level II ultrasound just to rule out any other problems. I heard her say that both her babies had this and it turned out to be okay. She also told me that every other measurement of our baby was perfect and nothing else showed up that was of concern. But the damage was already done in my head and my heart. It hurt so much to hear her say those things in association with my baby because I just want him to be okay! Instead of getting the all clear we were being given options of further testing. Yuck, yuckity, yuck.

I was able to calm down enough to go back into the ultrasound room to find out the gender. I was actually hesitant because by that point I was emotionally exhausted and obviously the gender seemed pretty insignificant. But I laid down again and had her try to get the baby to move. She said, “Gosh, you’ve got a stubborn baby in there!” Nope, he would not move. She said, “Third time’s a charm. Go drink a bunch of water to fill up your bladder and come back again.”

Naaman and I went and sat on the sofa while he watched me chug about 8 glasses of water. I was motivated, people! I decided I wasn’t leaving without knowing the gender. I wanted something good to come from this ultrasound! I went back in a third time. Again, the baby just wouldn’t move. My bladder was filling up and by that time I thought it might burst as she pushed on my belly! Suddenly she said, “I think that’s a penis but I can’t be sure.” I asked how sure she was and she said, “I’m 80% sure so buy blue and keep the tags.” She said that she is just not certain due to the cord hanging out between the legs. And we thought that was as good as it was gonna get! I was just about to get up when she said, “Oh, he moved, that’s a penis!” I said, “How sure now?” She said, “99.9% sure!” Finally some happiness. Naaman and I high-fived and kissed! So happy to be getting our second boy. So happy to be giving Landon a little brother!

We would appreciate your prayers and good thoughts as we go to the specialist next week. We have hope that everything will be fine and we know that God is always watching over Baby B. We love our boy so much already and we just want him to be okay.

Without further ado, here he is (and yes, he looks exactly like Landon).

The money shot on the third and final try (the white arrow is pointing at the goods)

Nice long leg and perfect foot . . .

The weird position he was sitting in for most the morning but look at that perfect spine . . .

It’s just a number

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 31. Can that be right? Am I really 31? I guess so. Unlike most people I did not fret when I turned 30. I was actually excited. Ready to leave the uncertainty of my twenties behind and come into a new decade with hope and clarity. This decade has already started as the best of my life thus far. And this year is sure to be no exception.

However, 31 makes me think that I am only nine years away from forty . . . and forty scares the bejeezus out of me for some reason. Yikes. Go slowly, 31-39. Go slowly.
It was a pretty low-key day. Naaman had to work (sucks) so I went with my mom to see the movie Precious. I love Indie films and Naaman hates them so it was the perfect opportunity to see a movie I wouldn’t otherwise get to see. Hard to watch doesn’t even begin to describe it. Let’s just say that when I got out of the movie I ran in to wake Landon from his nap and nuzzled him for about 10 minutes before he finally managed to wiggle his way out of my arms. I told him I loved him and that he would always know how much I love him. It hurts my heart to know that there are kids out there that are abused and don’t grow up knowing how much their parents love them. Every child has the right to be loved. The movie reminded me of what a charmed life I lead and not to take it for granted. Amazing acting too. Please go see it if you get the chance.
I got an awesome new wireless printer/scanner. It is fancy schmancy and I love it! But the real gift is forthcoming. Tomorrow when I wake up I will feel the same excitement as a child on Christmas morning because it’s GENDER REVEAL DAY for baby #2!!! I can’t believe it’s here already!
Please stay tuned for our fun announcement. It might take me a bit to get it up on the blog because we plan on a little celebration of our own tomorrow but just be patient. You will all know soon enough. We’ve got something fun planned to reveal boy or girl.

17 Weeks Pregnant

For real? How is it that I am almost halfway through this pregnancy already? It’s madness, I tell you!
Here’s a bare belly pic for you. Definitely showing . . .
How far along? 17 weeks, 1 day
Total weight gain: I still don’t know yet
Maternity clothes? Oh so comfy
Sleep: It’s been going pretty well this past week
Best moment this week: Getting my appetite back!
Food cravings: Salads! Yep, you read that right. Salads with salty dressing. Mmmmm.
Gender: tbd on December 8th!
Labor Signs: I’ve still got awhile
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: Shopping for regular clothes
What I’m looking forward to: December 8th . . . only 4 days left, people!!!
Weekly Wisdom: It’s okay to be lazy while your child is napping. The laundry will get done later. Sometimes rest is more important.
Milestones: The baby is starting to discern some outside noises and also mastering the art of yawning and swallowing. Fun things! I better start singing more often!
Differences between #1 & #2: This might sound weird but I’m just not as obsessed with all things baby/pregnancy-related this time around. I don’t think it means I’m any less excited than I was about Landon. But I already have a little boy to obsess over right now and he takes up a lot of my time. I’m focused on him so it’s difficult to focus on anything else. When I was pregnant with Landon I freaked out if I got even a little cramp and then managed to call everyone I know to ask them about it or complain about it. Not so much this time. I’m very crampy but I know that it’s just my uterus growing and stretching. I’m not saying I know everything. But it’s amazing what a little perspective can do the second time around. I’m much more relaxed about this pregnancy.

16 Weeks Pregnant

We’re back from Florida! We arrived home last night after quite an eventful plane ride. I will give all the details (whether you want them or not) in a new post very soon. I have a ton of photos/videos to upload. I also have some awesome and some not-so-awesome stories to share. But all in all, it was a great trip where we created some wonderful family memories we will treasure always.

I still can’t believe how fast this pregnancy is moving . . . what a whirlwind ride this is! Here is my 16-week belly photo. This was Landon’s first time seeing the ocean when we visited West Palm Beach!

WPBfamilypic

How far along? 16 weeks, 2 days
Total weight gain: I’ll have a number for you next week but I think it actually might have gone down.
Maternity clothes? Yep, lots of them. My regular pants don’t fit anymore.
Sleep: Average. Lots of tossing and turning already.
Best moment this week: Being with my entire family at Disney World for the Thanksgiving holiday!
Food cravings: My appetite dropped off suddenly the Friday before we left for Florida. I should have sensed there was a reason for that. More on why it left in an entirely different post.
Gender: tbd on December 8th!
Labor Signs: I’ve still got awhile
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: Not having heartburn : (
What I’m looking forward to: December 8th is the big gender reveal day for green bean!
Weekly Wisdom: Traveling with a child is at least 10x more difficult than with just adults.
Milestones: Green bean was moving a TON this week. Much more active than I remember Landon being at this stage. Or maybe that’s because I did ride a few “safe” rides at the amusement parks and the baby either liked them or didn’t like them. Who knows? But I’m certainly being kicked or punched with teeny tiny little hands and feet quite often!

Differences between #1 & #2: Much stronger movement early on with this pregnancy. It’s both amazing and surreal to feel a baby inside me again so soon!