They told me to open my eyes

A year ago at this exact moment I realized I was in labor. I was 38 weeks & 2 days pregnant. There was no indication the night before that led me to believe you would be on your way the next morning. I didn’t feel any different or do anything different. You just decided it was your time to come. This makes so much sense to me now. Because I know your personality and I know for a fact you’re decisive.

I sat on the couch, eating my cereal, watching your big brother play.

I was unusually calm while timing contractions with my iphone.

I tried to doubt the signs. But I knew from the very first contraction I had that morning that I would meet you soon.

Contractions came every four to five minutes. A dull ache that grew in intensity and then subsided, just like a wave.

I was nervous, of course. But ready. And excited. And hopeful.

The world knew you only as “Baby B” up to this point. Daddy and I knew what the “B” stood for all along. At least, we knew your name. And had seen black and white photos of you nestled inside my womb. To think we knew and loved you then. The belly stops growing eventually. But the love never does.

Of course, now we know there was so much more to you than just your name.

Last year at this time, I had no idea what I was in for with your labor.

in labor - ready to hop in the car to head to the hospital

I would be in labor for 22 hours. The beginning was honestly not that painful.

on the yoga ball - trying to make progress & move the baby down

The middle and end were beyond anything I would have ever thought one could live through.

Then there was a break in the torture.

A break.

A burn.

A pop.

A release.

They told me to open my eyes . . . so I did.

And you were born.

immediate skin-to-skin contact after birth - just what I wanted

Tomorrow is your first birthday. I can hardly believe I just typed that.

You’ve come a long way, baby. I’m so glad your journey is with us.

Filed Under: Baby Belly #2, Birth, Brigham, Mommy Moments, Pregnancy #213 Comments

Your Three Words


This was me. One year ago. I was 36 weeks pregnant with Baby B (anyone remember that, lol?). Looking at this photo is so surreal. I cannot fathom that my second son was in there. At this point I assumed I would be pregnant for at least another month. But Brigham had other plans. Two short weeks later he would decide he was ready to make his grand entrance.

Looking at this photo floods my brain with amazing memories of the beauty of pregnancy. And with Brigham’s first birthday quickly approaching I find myself really missing this stage of life. The anticipation of giving birth is like nothing else. Nothing could compare to that special little combination of excitement and fear of the unknown.

On one hand I cannot believe it has already been a year. It went by lightening fast. But on the other hand it feels like it has been ages since I’ve felt a full-sized baby roll around in my belly. Please forgive me as I write this. But I miss it. I miss being pregnant. Don’t get all excited. No baby plans on the horizon at all. I didn’t expect to feel this way considering we’re supposed to be done. D-O-N-E . . . DONE. But I’m always honest on my blog. To say I’m not mourning that part of my life being over would be a lie.

So there it is. One of my last belly photos.


Filed Under: Birth, Pregnancy #2, Silly Me, Your Three Words8 Comments

Your Three Words


We celebrated Landon’s second Christmas in December 2009. At that point I was at the half-way point in my pregnancy with Brigham. I remember going to Toys R Us right before Christmas and scouring the aisles of toys looking for just the right gift for our 16-month-old toddler.

Suddenly, Naaman and I found ourselves in the bike aisle and right in front of us were the radio flyer wagons! I knew right then it was the perfect gift not only for Landon but also for our unborn son who would soon join us in the world. A double-seater it was!

In the back of my mind, I was still terrified that there might be something wrong with the baby swimming around inside my belly. The level II ultrasound with the specialist was supposed to provide me with peace of mind. But a big “what if” still hung in the air. Everyone told me he would be fine. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Just as we suspected, Landon LOVED the wagon. He gravitated to it immediately on Christmas morning in 2009.


I remember rubbing my belly at that very moment and imagining both of my boys, my sons, sitting in the wagon together. I hoped and prayed that Brigham would be born healthy just like the doctor said he would. I wanted to see both of them playing and having fun together with that wagon.

And 15 months later, it looks like I finally got that chance . . .

My big boy and my little boy. My sons and the little red wagon.

Link up with Your Three Words at Jenni’s Blog.

Filed Under: Brigham, Double Trouble, Holidays, Landon, Pregnancy #2, Your Three Words6 Comments